The 10 most positive and inspiring break up quotes:
1. “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”—Alfred Lord Tennyson
Everyone who has suffered from a broken heart at any time has heard this quote. Unfortunately it does not give comfort at the beginning, only years later will you realize its profoundness and value.
When you understand its true meaning, then you’ll know that you’ve overcome your break up or divorce.
2. “If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be.”—unknown
I heard this the first time in the movie Indecent Proposal. It illustrates the necessity of detachment, of “letting go” after a break up.
If you can let go, you will receive.
3. “You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again.”—unknown
There is no moving on without forgiveness, and more importantly: there is no new beginning while carrying “old emotional baggage”.
4. “Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.”—Golda Meir
Experiencing the negative emotions is part of life. Only if we are able to go through them with our full consciousness can we also appreciate and benefit from the positive ones.
5. “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”—unknown
Sometimes relationships can’t be fixed. That is when it’s better to move on. Sad, but very often true.
6. “Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.”—unknown
Only when you are able to completely detach yourself, can you be free. After a break up, and elsewhere in life. Be a leaf floating in a river, not knowing where it might take you. This is true freedom.
7. “The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is.”
—Tigress Luv
Acceptance is one important step in healing from a break up. This is part of the painful first phase.
8. “I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me – I’m going to smile.”—Lone Star
This is actually some great break up advice in two ways: first you are not being needy in front of your Ex, you demonstrate strength and your Ex may wonder if s/he has made the right decision.
Also, constant smiling despite the fact that you feel terrible is a great way “to trick” your mind. By smiling, the body sends signals to the mind that you are happy, even if you are not. Eventually the mind WILL accept the state of the body.
This is simple neuro-linguistic programming.
9. “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”—M. Kathleen Casey
This is a great one.
It means that you have the choice to accept the pain and not allow it to turn into suffering.
One of the main reasons that mental pain turns into suffering is continual mental reasoning. We can break that vicious cycle by learning to control our thoughts.
10. “I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.”—unknown
It is a great accomplishment to realize that we loved a concept, a picture we had in our minds, rather than the person himself. When we break up, it’s this concept we miss, and what causes the pain is the failure of the same.
The minute we realize this, we can kick our Exes from the pedestal.
These were some of the best inspirational break up quotes I could find; I hope you’ve enjoyed them.
They teach us about detachment, the necessity to forgive and let go, to live life to the fullest with all its dark sides, acceptance, neuro-linguistic programming, mental control and the existence of false pictures.
All virtues for overcoming a break up, and you are now one step closer to finding the secret of how to get over a break up.
For that arduous task, I wish you all the best.
You don't die from a broken heart, you only wish you did.Gelly Majuri
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
The Four Greatest Breakup Tips
Breakups are no fun at all, but they are a simple fact of life. If you're ready to call things off with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but don't know how to do it, then follow these four easy breakup tips.
If you've been in a long relationship or think your partner doesn't realize that you aren't happy, then it's even more important that you follow these breakup tips. A polite and clean breakup will almost always leave the possibility of a makeup.
Here are the four most important breakup tips:
1. Be honest and never lie. If you want to stay on good terms with your soon-to-be ex, then be sure that you can at least partially explain why you need to break up. Don't lie or make up excuses because that will only upset your ex.
2. Break up in person! If you aren't in middle school, then it's never appropriate to break up with a text message, email or Facebook message. In some very exceptional circumstances (like living on the other side of the planet) it may be permissible to break up over the phone. Honestly, if your significant other is less than 5 hours by car from your house, then break up in person.
3. Don't blame anyone. There's no point in airing all of your dirty laundry when you break up. Don't list all of your grievances with your ex. Remember, the goal of these breakup tips is to have a smooth and non-confrontational breakup.
4. Mean what you say. If you're telling your partner that it's over, then it really should be over -- at least for a few weeks. There's no point in follow up phone calls or any other contact with your ex. Remind yourself that you ended it for a reason and move on with your life.
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
If you've been in a long relationship or think your partner doesn't realize that you aren't happy, then it's even more important that you follow these breakup tips. A polite and clean breakup will almost always leave the possibility of a makeup.
Here are the four most important breakup tips:
1. Be honest and never lie. If you want to stay on good terms with your soon-to-be ex, then be sure that you can at least partially explain why you need to break up. Don't lie or make up excuses because that will only upset your ex.
2. Break up in person! If you aren't in middle school, then it's never appropriate to break up with a text message, email or Facebook message. In some very exceptional circumstances (like living on the other side of the planet) it may be permissible to break up over the phone. Honestly, if your significant other is less than 5 hours by car from your house, then break up in person.
3. Don't blame anyone. There's no point in airing all of your dirty laundry when you break up. Don't list all of your grievances with your ex. Remember, the goal of these breakup tips is to have a smooth and non-confrontational breakup.
4. Mean what you say. If you're telling your partner that it's over, then it really should be over -- at least for a few weeks. There's no point in follow up phone calls or any other contact with your ex. Remind yourself that you ended it for a reason and move on with your life.
Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
Broken Marriage - Do You Really Want a Divorce?
Living in a broken marriage is difficult, frustrating and sometimes extremely painful and definitely not what you signed up for. Each day you wake up and wonder what's going to be the problem of the day that sinks your broken marriage closer to divorce. Sometimes you just want to cry or drive your car off the road because either one seems like a good choice compared to staying married.
I hope your marriage is not as broken as I described above. If your marriage is broken I hope and pray that in the next couple of days or weeks you can begin to fix the problems in your marriage and begin to feel loved, appreciated and hopeful about your marriage and future together.
Is your broken marriage really making you think about divorce? I know if you are you are thinking about divorce you are considering all of the complexities that go along with a divorce. The emotional strain a divorce puts on the couple, children and family can be quite devastating so divorce shouldn't be taken lightly.
Before you decide that you want a divorce because of your marriage problems, I would like you to do the following.
Determine What You Desire To Be Fixed In Your Broken Marriage
Sometimes I believe it's important to write down what you want fixed in your marriage. It's one thing to feel like your marriage is broken but have you really taken the time to think about all that's going wrong? It's important to know exactly what's wrong so you can figure out what's fixable and what's acceptable if it's not corrected immediately.
You should now have a clear mind on what you need and desire in your broken marriage to be fixed. There should be no confusing messages like "I just can't put my finger on it but our marriage is broken". If you can't explain what the problem is or what you desire in the marriage then I would suggest you spend a little more time figuring it out.
Decide If Things Changed In Your Broken Marriage Would You Stay
Ok, once you figure out what's broken and how you need things to be, now what? What if your spouse sees the error of his or her ways and is determined to immediately start taking steps to give you the marriage you have been hoping for. Is that the answer you were looking for or would you still want a divorce?
You see, sometimes spouses demand that their partner make changes, all the while hoping that the spouse refuses to change, thus making the divorce process easier and less guilty.
The last thing I would like you to do is not give up on your broken marriage. You see you don't have to end up going through the painful divorce process. You can improve and save your marriage, even if it has been broken for years.
You own it to your spouse and family to try to fix your broken marriage. If you try and fail at least you can say you tried.
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short by Andre Maurois
I hope your marriage is not as broken as I described above. If your marriage is broken I hope and pray that in the next couple of days or weeks you can begin to fix the problems in your marriage and begin to feel loved, appreciated and hopeful about your marriage and future together.
Is your broken marriage really making you think about divorce? I know if you are you are thinking about divorce you are considering all of the complexities that go along with a divorce. The emotional strain a divorce puts on the couple, children and family can be quite devastating so divorce shouldn't be taken lightly.
Before you decide that you want a divorce because of your marriage problems, I would like you to do the following.
Determine What You Desire To Be Fixed In Your Broken Marriage
Sometimes I believe it's important to write down what you want fixed in your marriage. It's one thing to feel like your marriage is broken but have you really taken the time to think about all that's going wrong? It's important to know exactly what's wrong so you can figure out what's fixable and what's acceptable if it's not corrected immediately.
You should now have a clear mind on what you need and desire in your broken marriage to be fixed. There should be no confusing messages like "I just can't put my finger on it but our marriage is broken". If you can't explain what the problem is or what you desire in the marriage then I would suggest you spend a little more time figuring it out.
Decide If Things Changed In Your Broken Marriage Would You Stay
Ok, once you figure out what's broken and how you need things to be, now what? What if your spouse sees the error of his or her ways and is determined to immediately start taking steps to give you the marriage you have been hoping for. Is that the answer you were looking for or would you still want a divorce?
You see, sometimes spouses demand that their partner make changes, all the while hoping that the spouse refuses to change, thus making the divorce process easier and less guilty.
The last thing I would like you to do is not give up on your broken marriage. You see you don't have to end up going through the painful divorce process. You can improve and save your marriage, even if it has been broken for years.
You own it to your spouse and family to try to fix your broken marriage. If you try and fail at least you can say you tried.
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short by Andre Maurois
Thursday, July 15, 2010
12 Easy Steps to Becoming a Happier Person
"Being miserable is a habit. Being happy is a habit. The choice is yours."-Tom Hopkins
Happiness is a choice, yet many will never choose it. I find this odd because I have never met anyone who said they didn't want to be happy.
Here are 12 Easy Steps To Becoming Happier Today:
1) Decide To Be Happy. This is the beginning point of your search for happiness. You cannot be happy if you don't decide to be happy. Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." So it's time to make up your mind.
"The joyfulness of a man prolongation his days."
2) Wake Up Happy. Start your day off on a positive note. Before you even open your eyes, remind yourself that you have a desire to be happy today. Spring out of bed. Increase the tempo of your movements. Be glad to be alive. Listen to music that gets you up and going. Sing in the shower. Have breakfast with someone who is positive and optimistic.
3) Don't Let Anything Ruin Your Day. I haven't had a bad day in years and it is because I have trained myself to be happy and you can too. I may have bad moments but not an entire day of it. If you stay mindful of being consciously happy from the onset of your day, you'll be surprised at how things will start working out for the better.
4) Get Involved. Spend time with family and friends; that is, providing your family and friends are good for you. If not, seek out people who will nourish you with hope, laughter, and encouragement. Strive to do the same for them in return."We cannot hold a torch to light another path without brightening our own."-Ben Sweetland
5) Smile. This automatically makes you feel happier. Smile for no reason at all other than the notion that it is in your best interest. Most people believe they need a reason and then they can't seem to think of one.
6) Strive To Be Pleasant Towards Others. I've always been told that you can't make someone else happy. Technically, that is true, but we sure do believe that they can make us angry. Some people will resist you & your happiness, but most will be influenced by your actions. Greet people warmly and with kindness. I encourage you to believe you can make others happy and set a course to do so.
7) Forgive Yourself For Past Mistakes. We've all made mistakes but some of us are held prisoner by our mistakes. It's hard to enjoy today if you are stuck in the past. Let go of this burden and move on with your life.
8) Fill Your Mind With Thoughts of Happiness. You tend to become what you think about. I know negative things exist and I keep an eye on that reality but I put my primary focus on the happiness I want instead of the things I don't want. Norman Vincent Peale says that you change your world by changing your thoughts. Think Happy.
9) Use Upbeat Language. Avoid language that lets the air out of your tire. Instead of saying, "I HAVE to go to work or school today" say, "I GET to go to work or school today". A lot of people would like to have your job or the opportunity to get an education.
10) Be Poised. Pay attention to how you carry yourself. Angry people as well as negative and anxious people have a certain body language. What does your body language say about you? If you want to be happy then walk, sit, and stand like you think a happy person would carry themselves.
11) Live in the Present. Strive to enjoy every moment of your life. You cannot change the past and you have no control over what the future may bring. You can, however, have control of your present. Be more aware of this moment.
12) Be Thankful. Most people focus on what they want or what they don't have. Learn to appreciate the blessings that God has given to you. Your health, your family, friends & the ability to laugh. I wonder how long your list would be if you were to write down the things you are grateful for. After all, it is Thanksgiving.
Happiness is like a butterfly,the more you chase it,the more it will elude you but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder-Gelly Majuri
Mental Well-Being
What is good mental health? According to WHO (World Health Organization), mental health is defined as a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community. Having a healthy and sound mind is not something you have but something you have got to work on. Just as we need to eat the right things and exercise regularly to feel well physically, we also need to look after our mental well-being.
Feeling good about us is great, but do not take your mental well-being lightly. There could be encounters in life which could result in serious depression and sadness. This could result in mental ill health. Cropping up from common problems like stress and anxiety it could manifest in to problems like personality disorders. Since each individual has a different way of thinking and processing life's instances, we cannot always predict the cure. The treatment varies by the individual. Train your focus on self and look for opportunities to create a healthy mind, body and spirit.
If you are unable to accept yourself, you feel undervalued. In your social life, you could be wreck because of fear of rejection. Do not fall in that trap as you are the most valuable asset to yourself. You must enjoy every relationship to feel good about yourself. Don't feel sad or dejected during bad and tough times. Promise yourself that time will bring good tidings.
We have all grown up with a set of ideas about our existence. Each of us has a different story about lives and is extremely unique. With the belief that things function a certain way, we find it very hard to accept change as we grow older. Let us break away the shackles of negative thoughts and acquire the desire of being a healthy individual - mind and body.
Two important things to generate a healthy environment for mental growth are:
- Foods affect our moods a lot. Eating different foods can create fluctuations in our temperament. It is advisable to have healthy foods for the "feel good" factor.
- Exercise improves our mental well-being. Regular work out will boost self-confidence pump you up.
If taking vitamins doesn't keep you healthy enough, try more laughter: The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.Gelly Majuri
Feeling good about us is great, but do not take your mental well-being lightly. There could be encounters in life which could result in serious depression and sadness. This could result in mental ill health. Cropping up from common problems like stress and anxiety it could manifest in to problems like personality disorders. Since each individual has a different way of thinking and processing life's instances, we cannot always predict the cure. The treatment varies by the individual. Train your focus on self and look for opportunities to create a healthy mind, body and spirit.
If you are unable to accept yourself, you feel undervalued. In your social life, you could be wreck because of fear of rejection. Do not fall in that trap as you are the most valuable asset to yourself. You must enjoy every relationship to feel good about yourself. Don't feel sad or dejected during bad and tough times. Promise yourself that time will bring good tidings.
We have all grown up with a set of ideas about our existence. Each of us has a different story about lives and is extremely unique. With the belief that things function a certain way, we find it very hard to accept change as we grow older. Let us break away the shackles of negative thoughts and acquire the desire of being a healthy individual - mind and body.
Two important things to generate a healthy environment for mental growth are:
- Foods affect our moods a lot. Eating different foods can create fluctuations in our temperament. It is advisable to have healthy foods for the "feel good" factor.
- Exercise improves our mental well-being. Regular work out will boost self-confidence pump you up.
If taking vitamins doesn't keep you healthy enough, try more laughter: The most wasted of all days is that on which one has not laughed.Gelly Majuri
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Facing Your Fears - Steps to a More Confident, Fearless You!
Fear keeps us safe. It keeps us from taking risks. Too many people allow fear to keep them from improving their lives.
To be self confident you must believe you can change and succeed despite your fears. This is essential for you to live a successful and fulfilling life.
Being afraid is a pretty strong emotion. Sometimes when we feel fear we may not even know why. Funnily enough it is not always the fear of failure that stops us taking risks - it is the fear of success that paralyzes us. Many of us just fear jumping out of our comfort zone.
If you are feeling fearful about a situation, stop and ask yourself why you are feeling this fear and what is the worst thing that could happen in this situation?
Will the sky fall in? Will somebody die? If you are thinking logically at this point you will know that the worst-case situation isn't as bad as you think it is!
On the other hand what do you have to win? Make a list of possible outcomes.
Fear can paralyze your ability to make decisions and when that happens it's time to assess this from a logical viewpoint.
Once you have assessed the best and the worst possible outcomes, then it is time to have a look at your options and determine if your fear is unfounded. If you find it is, then maybe now is the time to face that fear.
Now is probably the time to ask for support from friends, family, mentors, colleagues, or anyone who you feel will be to help you fight your fear.
Before you embark on your fear-fighting journey, congratulate yourself for seeing your fear for what it is, which is probably something not worth fearing in most cases!
Many of us have fears that have nothing to do with our abilities or experiences. They are just feelings conjured up in our minds when we are facing situations new and "scary" to us. Many people, after facing their fear, realize they had nothing to fear in the first place!
So get out there and face those fears! What's the worst thing that could happen?
If you want some further help in improving your confidence or self esteem, here's what you must do next...
Sign up straight away for your free copy of Boost Your Confidence, Change Your Life! [http://selfconfidence101.com/category/productsservices], which is your ticket to to a wonderful, fulfilling and successful life.
Based on Michelle article.Michelle is a Life Coach who really understands how debilitating it can be to suffer from low confidence and self esteem, and to come out of it much stronger, smarter and happier. Visit http://selfconfidence101.com for more information.
To be self confident you must believe you can change and succeed despite your fears. This is essential for you to live a successful and fulfilling life.
Being afraid is a pretty strong emotion. Sometimes when we feel fear we may not even know why. Funnily enough it is not always the fear of failure that stops us taking risks - it is the fear of success that paralyzes us. Many of us just fear jumping out of our comfort zone.
If you are feeling fearful about a situation, stop and ask yourself why you are feeling this fear and what is the worst thing that could happen in this situation?
Will the sky fall in? Will somebody die? If you are thinking logically at this point you will know that the worst-case situation isn't as bad as you think it is!
On the other hand what do you have to win? Make a list of possible outcomes.
Fear can paralyze your ability to make decisions and when that happens it's time to assess this from a logical viewpoint.
Once you have assessed the best and the worst possible outcomes, then it is time to have a look at your options and determine if your fear is unfounded. If you find it is, then maybe now is the time to face that fear.
Now is probably the time to ask for support from friends, family, mentors, colleagues, or anyone who you feel will be to help you fight your fear.
Before you embark on your fear-fighting journey, congratulate yourself for seeing your fear for what it is, which is probably something not worth fearing in most cases!
Many of us have fears that have nothing to do with our abilities or experiences. They are just feelings conjured up in our minds when we are facing situations new and "scary" to us. Many people, after facing their fear, realize they had nothing to fear in the first place!
So get out there and face those fears! What's the worst thing that could happen?
If you want some further help in improving your confidence or self esteem, here's what you must do next...
Sign up straight away for your free copy of Boost Your Confidence, Change Your Life! [http://selfconfidence101.com/category/productsservices], which is your ticket to to a wonderful, fulfilling and successful life.
Based on Michelle article.Michelle is a Life Coach who really understands how debilitating it can be to suffer from low confidence and self esteem, and to come out of it much stronger, smarter and happier. Visit http://selfconfidence101.com for more information.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
My best poem collections
Hope
by Brian Quinn
When all about you is black with gloom,
And all you feel is pending doom.
When your bones are racked with grim despair -
When every breath is a gasp for air.
Keep on going, though you need to grope,
For around the bend is a ray of hope.
A ray of hope is perhaps all that's left,
As your will to live has been bereft.
You've lost it all, it's just no use!
You can end it all, you need no excuse.
But throw away that piece of rope,
And give yourself a chance of hope.
Just give yourself another day,
Brushing aside what your thoughts may say.
This is your life and you can make a new start,
By ignoring the brain - just follow the heart.
Taking baby steps in order to cope,
And minute by minute you'll build on your hope.
Build on your hope,. one day at a time,
Though the road be steep and hard to climb.
The hurts of the past - they should be dead.
The fears of the future are all in your head.
Just live in the present and refuse to mope
Your life will sparkle for you're living in hope.
My Heart Believes In You
by Stewart Bradshaw
I kept my head up high,
and then you came my way.
I have been hurt so many times.
My heart filled with so much pain.
but now that pain has gone away.
For I have found a place I want to be.
This place I see is with thee.
For in your arms I have felt and seen,
a wonderful feeling that I cannot believe.
A safe haven in your arms just for me.
Now I give my heart to thee.
For my heart believes in you.
Trust Me With Your Heart
by Kathleen Sheppard
Why does your heart grow doubtful dear?
Tense and beating, full of fear.
I keep with me your everlasting love,
and bless the day God sent you from above.
You remain my angel and I feel that I must,
tell you that within you, you have my trust.
My love is the tide, your soul is the shores,
you have my heart, do I have yours?
I'll belong to you till the very end,
and you will forever stay as my lover and friend.
It has been so good like this from the start,
so darling please, trust me with your heart.
The Reasons I Love You
by Carrie Sue
I love you because you make me happy
I love you because you make me feel safe and secure
I love your smile
I love the way you say my name
I love the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me
And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put
me down.
I love the fact that when I'm around you I can be myself and not worry
about what you may think of me, because I know you love me for who I am.
No matter what my faults may be.
I love being able to wake up with you by my side... It makes my days
better
At night I love watching you sleep, hearing you take each breath, and
feeling your heart beat with the palm of my hand... reality hits that you
are not a dream YOU ARE MINE.
I love the way you wrap your arms around me and hold me really tight, like
there is no tomorrow
And I love the way I feel when your lips barely touch mine for a kiss, the
love and emotions that go through me at that moment are unexplainable.
I love your laugh
I love hearing your voice
I love that you get along with my family and friend, no matter how much
you dislike them, or who they are.
And hearing you tell me your stories, you could tell them to me a thousand
times, and I will never get tired of them, because they are a part of you.
But the main reason I love you is because.....
You are you!
Into Every Life
by Christopher
She looks into air, herself falling rain
Dripping coldness past, memories old pain.
Drops fall, the puddling her damp water-life.
Spiraling a mirror, self-lonely strife.
A sigh, one frown, crying soft saddened tears.
Storms of remember - through bleak yesteryear.
Clouds a-whorl, dark sky sheltering fair heart.
But how can she joy, while taking no part?
Cov'ring cold soul, corona of defense.
Defying the stab of her fate's intents.
This is madness, she thinks in plaintive cry.
I'm here, on the cusp, of lay down and die.
What my destiny, but an empty-off dream?
A plaything with which gods and angels scheme.
Am I doomed then to live, time never-free?
Subsumed wholly 'neath life's scattered debris?
Is justice, outside this torrential doubt?
Perhaps more than sorrow, painful fall-out?
Is love, perhaps, just a sliver of sun?
Shining through mists, revealing Avalon?
Personal paradise, which I can own,
Evoking happiness, hither unknown?
She raises from streets of lonely no more.
Light slicing through darkness, hopes washed ashore.
Her withered gait now straightening with pride.
She glides like an angel 'cross future's tide.
Belief in life renewed, no, only found.
Footsteps echoing, a cadence of sound.
Caressing the ground, sing the beat of her heart.
Into the sun seeking love's brand new start.
by Brian Quinn
When all about you is black with gloom,
And all you feel is pending doom.
When your bones are racked with grim despair -
When every breath is a gasp for air.
Keep on going, though you need to grope,
For around the bend is a ray of hope.
A ray of hope is perhaps all that's left,
As your will to live has been bereft.
You've lost it all, it's just no use!
You can end it all, you need no excuse.
But throw away that piece of rope,
And give yourself a chance of hope.
Just give yourself another day,
Brushing aside what your thoughts may say.
This is your life and you can make a new start,
By ignoring the brain - just follow the heart.
Taking baby steps in order to cope,
And minute by minute you'll build on your hope.
Build on your hope,. one day at a time,
Though the road be steep and hard to climb.
The hurts of the past - they should be dead.
The fears of the future are all in your head.
Just live in the present and refuse to mope
Your life will sparkle for you're living in hope.
My Heart Believes In You
by Stewart Bradshaw
I kept my head up high,
and then you came my way.
I have been hurt so many times.
My heart filled with so much pain.
but now that pain has gone away.
For I have found a place I want to be.
This place I see is with thee.
For in your arms I have felt and seen,
a wonderful feeling that I cannot believe.
A safe haven in your arms just for me.
Now I give my heart to thee.
For my heart believes in you.
Trust Me With Your Heart
by Kathleen Sheppard
Why does your heart grow doubtful dear?
Tense and beating, full of fear.
I keep with me your everlasting love,
and bless the day God sent you from above.
You remain my angel and I feel that I must,
tell you that within you, you have my trust.
My love is the tide, your soul is the shores,
you have my heart, do I have yours?
I'll belong to you till the very end,
and you will forever stay as my lover and friend.
It has been so good like this from the start,
so darling please, trust me with your heart.
The Reasons I Love You
by Carrie Sue
I love you because you make me happy
I love you because you make me feel safe and secure
I love your smile
I love the way you say my name
I love the look in your eyes when you tell me you love me
And how you laugh at me when I do something stupid, when others would put
me down.
I love the fact that when I'm around you I can be myself and not worry
about what you may think of me, because I know you love me for who I am.
No matter what my faults may be.
I love being able to wake up with you by my side... It makes my days
better
At night I love watching you sleep, hearing you take each breath, and
feeling your heart beat with the palm of my hand... reality hits that you
are not a dream YOU ARE MINE.
I love the way you wrap your arms around me and hold me really tight, like
there is no tomorrow
And I love the way I feel when your lips barely touch mine for a kiss, the
love and emotions that go through me at that moment are unexplainable.
I love your laugh
I love hearing your voice
I love that you get along with my family and friend, no matter how much
you dislike them, or who they are.
And hearing you tell me your stories, you could tell them to me a thousand
times, and I will never get tired of them, because they are a part of you.
But the main reason I love you is because.....
You are you!
Into Every Life
by Christopher
She looks into air, herself falling rain
Dripping coldness past, memories old pain.
Drops fall, the puddling her damp water-life.
Spiraling a mirror, self-lonely strife.
A sigh, one frown, crying soft saddened tears.
Storms of remember - through bleak yesteryear.
Clouds a-whorl, dark sky sheltering fair heart.
But how can she joy, while taking no part?
Cov'ring cold soul, corona of defense.
Defying the stab of her fate's intents.
This is madness, she thinks in plaintive cry.
I'm here, on the cusp, of lay down and die.
What my destiny, but an empty-off dream?
A plaything with which gods and angels scheme.
Am I doomed then to live, time never-free?
Subsumed wholly 'neath life's scattered debris?
Is justice, outside this torrential doubt?
Perhaps more than sorrow, painful fall-out?
Is love, perhaps, just a sliver of sun?
Shining through mists, revealing Avalon?
Personal paradise, which I can own,
Evoking happiness, hither unknown?
She raises from streets of lonely no more.
Light slicing through darkness, hopes washed ashore.
Her withered gait now straightening with pride.
She glides like an angel 'cross future's tide.
Belief in life renewed, no, only found.
Footsteps echoing, a cadence of sound.
Caressing the ground, sing the beat of her heart.
Into the sun seeking love's brand new start.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Learn to Relax-Four of the Best Ways to Relax
We live in an age of tension, and there's no doubt that most of it comes from the fast pace of society, and the pressure many of us feel as we try to get ahead (or just keep our heads above water). Without realizing it, most people go about their day in a state of tension that seems normal to them. They don't know what relaxation is, or means, and they don't know that aside from making you feel nervous and anxious, it can also cause long-term problems for your health. Not only is it hard on your heart, but it also causes insomnia, high blood pressure, fatigue, depression and many other things.
Learning to relax can therefore help you immensely. In fact, it can change your life. You might not think of it as such, but tension is actually a habit -- a particularly bad habit. But with a little practise it can be changed into a good habit, namely relaxation. You can be relaxed and feel great throughout the day, day after day.
Tension can hit any part of the body, but it's most common in your jaw, shoulders, neck and eyes, so it's a good idea to concentrate on them. This doesn't mean that there's no tension in other parts of your body. There is, and you should also get rid of it.
Tension arises primarily from the things that go on in your mind -- your thoughts. But strangely, to get rid of it, you have to concentrate on your muscles, and there are four basic techniques for relaxing them. They are:
Deep breathing
Direct muscle relaxation
Music
Visualization
Other things also help, but I will concentrate on these four.
Deep breathing is closely associated with meditation, but I'll leave the discussion of meditation to others. For deep breathing you have to begin by learning to breathe properly. Most people breathe shallowly within their chest; for "deep breathing' you have to learn to breathe from your abdomen. This means that you abdomen should be moving in and out, and not your chest. Also important is closing your mind and paying attention only to your breathing. All of us have little "conversations" going on in our mind most of the time. You can't relax if your mind is cluttered. So keep it blank and concentrate on your breathing.
A comfortable chair is also important and you should make sure your clothing is loose and comfortable. Loosen your collar and belt. Relax... think of your body as an old sock. Start by breathing smoothly, with your abdomen moving in and out; gradually deepen your breathing as you allow each breath to flow smoothly to the next. Increase it until you are breathing deeply, then gradually decease it. Continue doing this for 10 or 15 minutes.
The above can be coupled with direct muscle relaxation. There are two forms of this. In the first, usually referred to as passive relaxation, you start with the tip of your head and progressively relax each part of your body, one at a time. Think about it, then relax it. Start with your eyes and jaw -- relax them; let them hang heavy and drop as you concentrate on your breathing. Then move down to your neck and shoulders. Continue with your arms, mid-section and legs.
An alternative to this is progressive muscle relaxation. In this case you tense each part of the body, then release it and relax it. Again, you can start anywhere (usually with your head) and move through your body as above.
Music is also helpful in releasing tension. Again, sit in a chair and make yourself comfortable. Put some relaxing music on your stereo or ipod. It's important to find music that is relaxing to you (and this will differ significantly from person to person, depending to a large degree on your age). As you sit back let the music wash over you, and again, focus on your breathing, and try to keep your mind clear. Just listen to the music; feel yourself relax as you listen to it. Let yourself float with the music -- let it wash over you.
It's also helpful to combine this with another technique called visualization (it can be combined with music or done alone). The idea is to focus your mind on a relaxing image. For each of us this will be different. Laying on a warm beach watching the clouds drifting overhead, or the waves rolling in, is calming to most people. Sitting near a stream watching it flow by, listening to the sound it makes, is calming to others. Thinking about a particularly happy family gathering is also enjoyable and calming to many.
Find something that works for you and use it. Make the scene come alive in your mind. Pretend you're there; enjoy the sensations, smell the aroma, feel the sun on your face.
Relaxation techniques of the above type should be used each day. Select one, or a combination of the above, and spend 5 or 10 minutes doing it. You can even do it at odd moments when you have time during the day -- even a few minutes is helpful. You'll soon find it has become a habit, and it will help you feel much better and more relaxed.
Learning to relax can therefore help you immensely. In fact, it can change your life. You might not think of it as such, but tension is actually a habit -- a particularly bad habit. But with a little practise it can be changed into a good habit, namely relaxation. You can be relaxed and feel great throughout the day, day after day.
Tension can hit any part of the body, but it's most common in your jaw, shoulders, neck and eyes, so it's a good idea to concentrate on them. This doesn't mean that there's no tension in other parts of your body. There is, and you should also get rid of it.
Tension arises primarily from the things that go on in your mind -- your thoughts. But strangely, to get rid of it, you have to concentrate on your muscles, and there are four basic techniques for relaxing them. They are:
Deep breathing
Direct muscle relaxation
Music
Visualization
Other things also help, but I will concentrate on these four.
Deep breathing is closely associated with meditation, but I'll leave the discussion of meditation to others. For deep breathing you have to begin by learning to breathe properly. Most people breathe shallowly within their chest; for "deep breathing' you have to learn to breathe from your abdomen. This means that you abdomen should be moving in and out, and not your chest. Also important is closing your mind and paying attention only to your breathing. All of us have little "conversations" going on in our mind most of the time. You can't relax if your mind is cluttered. So keep it blank and concentrate on your breathing.
A comfortable chair is also important and you should make sure your clothing is loose and comfortable. Loosen your collar and belt. Relax... think of your body as an old sock. Start by breathing smoothly, with your abdomen moving in and out; gradually deepen your breathing as you allow each breath to flow smoothly to the next. Increase it until you are breathing deeply, then gradually decease it. Continue doing this for 10 or 15 minutes.
The above can be coupled with direct muscle relaxation. There are two forms of this. In the first, usually referred to as passive relaxation, you start with the tip of your head and progressively relax each part of your body, one at a time. Think about it, then relax it. Start with your eyes and jaw -- relax them; let them hang heavy and drop as you concentrate on your breathing. Then move down to your neck and shoulders. Continue with your arms, mid-section and legs.
An alternative to this is progressive muscle relaxation. In this case you tense each part of the body, then release it and relax it. Again, you can start anywhere (usually with your head) and move through your body as above.
Music is also helpful in releasing tension. Again, sit in a chair and make yourself comfortable. Put some relaxing music on your stereo or ipod. It's important to find music that is relaxing to you (and this will differ significantly from person to person, depending to a large degree on your age). As you sit back let the music wash over you, and again, focus on your breathing, and try to keep your mind clear. Just listen to the music; feel yourself relax as you listen to it. Let yourself float with the music -- let it wash over you.
It's also helpful to combine this with another technique called visualization (it can be combined with music or done alone). The idea is to focus your mind on a relaxing image. For each of us this will be different. Laying on a warm beach watching the clouds drifting overhead, or the waves rolling in, is calming to most people. Sitting near a stream watching it flow by, listening to the sound it makes, is calming to others. Thinking about a particularly happy family gathering is also enjoyable and calming to many.
Find something that works for you and use it. Make the scene come alive in your mind. Pretend you're there; enjoy the sensations, smell the aroma, feel the sun on your face.
Relaxation techniques of the above type should be used each day. Select one, or a combination of the above, and spend 5 or 10 minutes doing it. You can even do it at odd moments when you have time during the day -- even a few minutes is helpful. You'll soon find it has become a habit, and it will help you feel much better and more relaxed.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Six Ways to Create Strong Relationships
Ask anyone what's most important in their life, and chances are you'll hear that it's their family, their spouse, their children or their friends.
People matter most.
At least that's what we believe in our hearts and what we want our lives to be about. But unless we put action behind our sentiment, we'll more likely feel regret instead of content at the end of the year or our lives.
It takes intention, determination, and skill to go about everyday life in ways that build relationship. But living otherwise is gambling that there will be a tomorrow, a time other than this present moment when we'll be able to ask for forgiveness - or extend it - and shower our attention on loved ones to make up for missed opportunities. Why risk it? Why resist it? Relationships are the main source of happiness in life, and you can build relationships that matter in minutes a day.
Here are six tips to C-R-E-A-T-E stronger relationships this year:
C is for COMMIT: Make a decision to commit yourself fully to all of the relationships in your life. If you can't, that's all the answer you need. Half-hearted is better parted. Whole-hearted is love imparted.
R is for RECOGNIZE: See the person for who they are in their core being. Respond to him or her with that vision firmly in place, and you'll be a harbinger of hope. Recognizing a person's essence empowers us to believe the best about them in every situation, and nine times out of ten, be right about what's going on in their heart.
E is for ENGAGE: Much of our relating is head-to-head. While provocative or stimulating, it's not really relationship-building. Engage heart-to-heart and you'll be creating life-changing connections. Puran & Susanna Bair, authors of "Energize Your Heart," offer this quick tip to get you out of your mind and into your heart: Place your hand over your heart as you speak. The mere act of touching our hearts moves our energy into sincerity and sensitivity. Try it.
A is for ACCEPT: We know we can't change others. But we keep trying, and it's pretty darn annoying. This year, vow to give it up. Consider how your world would feel if you decided that nothing and no one needed to change in order for you to show up in your life as your happy-go-lucky, wonder-filled self.
T is for TRUST: Everyone has inherent wisdom and their own life path. Try trusting that the people in your life, children and spouse included, learn best by doing what's in their hearts to do, even if it looks like a mistake to you. Firsthand experiences are the fastest learning paths. So stop teaching and preaching and get out of the way of your loved ones' learning. Interference just postpones the experiences they need to grow.
E is for ENERGIZE: We get more of whatever we energize, so with every word and action, you are choosing what you want to see more of in your relationships. What we talk about and get excited about, what we put our hearts and souls into connecting about - these are the energizers. So create conversations around how much you appreciate and admire what your loved ones are doing right, what they're not doing wrong, and what that says about who they are.
Put these tips into practice and you'll be living a life that proves your loved ones matters most.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Father’s Day Celebration
Father’s Day Celebration
First of all,i want to say thank you for my father Mr.Majuri Masanging for him dedication,support and advice.I'm very glad because I have father like you "pa" even you are very strictly sometime but I now you are very kind person.I love you "pa".Here I will share little information why we celebrate fathers day each year.
The very solicitous and beautiful festival of Father’s Day is celebrated with lot of enjoyable and enthusiasm in countries around the world. Though the date and manner of celebrations differ in several countries what remain visibly same is the spirit of the festival. Everywhere, people take occasion of Fathers Day to express thankfulness for their dad and to tell them how much they are loved and cherished and people also celebrate Father’s Day with their granddad, father-in-law, stepfather, uncle or with any other man who is loving and protective as a father.
What is Fathers Day?
* To wish a father for his unending and self-less duties towards our life, we celebrate fathers day.
* Just like celebrating mother’s day to wish her how special she is in our life, fathers day is also a similar celebration to the expression of male parenting or fatherhood important.
Why Fathers Day is celebrated?
* Fathers Day is celebrated to honor every father and to make father’s realize how special he is in everyone’s life.
The History of Father’s Day:
The history of Father’s Day dates back to 1909, in Spokane, Washington. Sonora Smart Dodd was listening to a Mother’s Day sermon, at the Central Methodist Episcopal Church. The lecture inspired her to have a special day dedicated to her father, William Jackson Smart, who had brought her up and her siblings, single-handedly, after their mother died. Sonora could realize the greatness of her father and wanted to let him know how deeply she was touched by his sacrifices, courage, selflessness and love. To pay a tribute to her great dad, Sonora held the first Father’s Day celebration on 19th of June 1910, on the birthday of her father. She was the first to solicit the idea of having an official Father’s Day observance. However, unlike Mother’s Day, which was readily accepted, Father’s Day was received with mockery and hilarity. Though the day was gaining attention, it was mostly for the wrong reasons. Jokes, satire, parody and derision were all that the day was commemorated for. In 1913, a bill in accordance with making the day official was introduced. The idea was approved by US President Woodrow Wilson in 1916. Later, in 1924, the idea gained further momentum as it was supported by President Calvin Coolidge. In 1926, a National Father’s Day Committee was formed in New York City. However, it was thirty years later that a Joint Resolution of Congress gave recognition to Father’s Day. Another 16 years passed before President Richard Nixon established the third Sunday of June, as a permanent national observance day of Father’s Day in 1972. The day was primarily nationalized in the honor of all good fathers, who contribute as much to the family as a mother, in their own ways. Another theory states that even before Dodd came into the picture, Dr. Robert Webb of West Virginia is believed to have conducted the first Father’s Day service in 1908 at the Central Church of Fairmont. However, it was the colossal efforts of Dodd, which made it possible for the day to acquire national recognition. The white and red rose was made the official flowers for Father’s Day celebration. While the white rose commemorated gratitude for a father, who was deceased, a red rose expressed thankfulness to one, who was living.
Father’s Day Facts:
Father’s Day is one of the most awaited holidays in the world. It represents the day when we tell our dad how much he means to us and how lucky we are, to have him in our life. Though you don’t need a special occasion to convey all this to him, telling it on Father’s Day can make your daddy feel all the more special. While all of us know that Father’s Day is a day dedicated to dads across the world, not many people are aware of the fact that it originated in the United States of America, that too owing to the efforts of Sonora Smart Dodd. Apart from this, there are many other interesting facts related to Father’s Day, almost all of which have been listed in the lines below. Go through them and increase your knowledge about the special day!
Father’s Day Trivia.
* Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, of Spokane, Washington, started the tradition of Father’s Day in the honor of her dad.
* First local Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington.
* In 1916, US President Woodrow Wilson approved the idea of observing an annual Father’s Day.
* In1924, President Calvin Coolidge made Father’s Day a national event.
* In 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father’s Day.
* Father’s Day is the fifth most popular card-sending holiday, with an estimated $100 million in card sales. Husbands, grandfathers, uncles, sons and sons-in-law are honored as well as father.
Some Quotes about Dad:
“A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.” — Enid Bagnold
“It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all.” — Alice Walker
“None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of SUCH a Father who has not his equal in this world-so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don’t be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal.” — Victoria, Queen of England
“That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all.” — J. August Strindberg
“It is a wise father that knows his own child.” — William Shakespeare
“It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.” — Anne Sexton
“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” — English Proverb
“To be a successful father . . . there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.” — Ernest Hemingway
“A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.” — Gabriel GarcÃa Márquez
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” — Sigmund Freud
“I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example.” — Mario Cuomo
“Be kind to thy father, for when thou wert young,
Who loved thee so fondly as he?
He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue,
And joined in thy innocent glee.”
– Margaret Courtney
“If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.” — Bill Cosby
“Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!” — Lydia M. Child
Tribute to Father:
“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: If you honor your father and mother, “you will live a long life, full of blessing.” And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. Ephesians Chapter 6 verses 2 – 4
Fathers are the biggest source of strength for a child. The innocent eyes of a child perceive father as the all-powerful, most knowledge, truly affectionate and the most important person in the family. For daughters, fathers are the first men they adore and fall in love with. While for sons their fathers are the strongest person they know and someone they aspire to emulate. Even for the grownups fathers are someone whom they look up to for the most experienced and honest advice that is always in the best of our interest. For this great figure in our life that we know as father – it becomes our utmost duty to pay our humblest tribute on the occasion of Father’s Day.
Say Thanks to Dad on Father’s Day
Children blessed with a loving father should consider themselves fortunate. For, they have someone to take care of their needs and interests. Someone to stop them when they are diverting to a wrong path and guide them on a road to success and virtue. For many of us fathers have always been there to solve our innumerous mathematics and science problems and explain the same formula hundredth time or better still until it is understood by us. Fathers would never ever give a smallest of hint to let us know how hard they work to take care of our needs and fulfill even the most whimsical of demands… For all their adorable scolding and affectionate punishments we all owe a big thanks to our Dads.
Apologize to Dad on Father’s Day
Father’s Day also brings with it the wonderful opportunity to apologize for all our rude and insensitive behavior. We as children often take the love and affection of our parents for granted and treat them with outright contempt. We need to apologize. We must feel great to have the presence of loving father in our lives and do not disrespect the blessing of God on us. On Father’s Day we must says “Sorry” to our Dad and seek their forgiveness for our wrong behavior.
Celebrate Father’s Day with Dad
We must make all efforts to celebrate Father’s Day with our Dad. Children staying away from father must especially strive to spend the day with father and show gratitude for all their support and love. We must pamper father by spending the day in a manner he likes most. It could be going out for a picnic or indulging him with a gourmet meal. We can also express love with thoughtful gifts accompanied by a bouquet of his favorite flowers. The idea is to show our affection and tell Daddy how much he is loved and appreciated not just on Father’s Day but every single day of our lives.
happy fathers day to all fathers...from lifeneedmotivation.blogspot.com
First of all,i want to say thank you for my father Mr.Majuri Masanging for him dedication,support and advice.I'm very glad because I have father like you "pa" even you are very strictly sometime but I now you are very kind person.I love you "pa".Here I will share little information why we celebrate fathers day each year.
The very solicitous and beautiful festival of Father’s Day is celebrated with lot of enjoyable and enthusiasm in countries around the world. Though the date and manner of celebrations differ in several countries what remain visibly same is the spirit of the festival. Everywhere, people take occasion of Fathers Day to express thankfulness for their dad and to tell them how much they are loved and cherished and people also celebrate Father’s Day with their granddad, father-in-law, stepfather, uncle or with any other man who is loving and protective as a father.
What is Fathers Day?
* To wish a father for his unending and self-less duties towards our life, we celebrate fathers day.
* Just like celebrating mother’s day to wish her how special she is in our life, fathers day is also a similar celebration to the expression of male parenting or fatherhood important.
Why Fathers Day is celebrated?
* Fathers Day is celebrated to honor every father and to make father’s realize how special he is in everyone’s life.
The History of Father’s Day:
The history of Father’s Day dates back to 1909, in Spokane, Washington. Sonora Smart Dodd was listening to a Mother’s Day sermon, at the Central Methodist Episcopal Church. The lecture inspired her to have a special day dedicated to her father, William Jackson Smart, who had brought her up and her siblings, single-handedly, after their mother died. Sonora could realize the greatness of her father and wanted to let him know how deeply she was touched by his sacrifices, courage, selflessness and love. To pay a tribute to her great dad, Sonora held the first Father’s Day celebration on 19th of June 1910, on the birthday of her father. She was the first to solicit the idea of having an official Father’s Day observance. However, unlike Mother’s Day, which was readily accepted, Father’s Day was received with mockery and hilarity. Though the day was gaining attention, it was mostly for the wrong reasons. Jokes, satire, parody and derision were all that the day was commemorated for. In 1913, a bill in accordance with making the day official was introduced. The idea was approved by US President Woodrow Wilson in 1916. Later, in 1924, the idea gained further momentum as it was supported by President Calvin Coolidge. In 1926, a National Father’s Day Committee was formed in New York City. However, it was thirty years later that a Joint Resolution of Congress gave recognition to Father’s Day. Another 16 years passed before President Richard Nixon established the third Sunday of June, as a permanent national observance day of Father’s Day in 1972. The day was primarily nationalized in the honor of all good fathers, who contribute as much to the family as a mother, in their own ways. Another theory states that even before Dodd came into the picture, Dr. Robert Webb of West Virginia is believed to have conducted the first Father’s Day service in 1908 at the Central Church of Fairmont. However, it was the colossal efforts of Dodd, which made it possible for the day to acquire national recognition. The white and red rose was made the official flowers for Father’s Day celebration. While the white rose commemorated gratitude for a father, who was deceased, a red rose expressed thankfulness to one, who was living.
Father’s Day Facts:
Father’s Day is one of the most awaited holidays in the world. It represents the day when we tell our dad how much he means to us and how lucky we are, to have him in our life. Though you don’t need a special occasion to convey all this to him, telling it on Father’s Day can make your daddy feel all the more special. While all of us know that Father’s Day is a day dedicated to dads across the world, not many people are aware of the fact that it originated in the United States of America, that too owing to the efforts of Sonora Smart Dodd. Apart from this, there are many other interesting facts related to Father’s Day, almost all of which have been listed in the lines below. Go through them and increase your knowledge about the special day!
Father’s Day Trivia.
* Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, of Spokane, Washington, started the tradition of Father’s Day in the honor of her dad.
* First local Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910, in Spokane, Washington.
* In 1916, US President Woodrow Wilson approved the idea of observing an annual Father’s Day.
* In1924, President Calvin Coolidge made Father’s Day a national event.
* In 1966 President Lyndon Johnson signed a presidential proclamation declaring the 3rd Sunday of June as Father’s Day.
* Father’s Day is the fifth most popular card-sending holiday, with an estimated $100 million in card sales. Husbands, grandfathers, uncles, sons and sons-in-law are honored as well as father.
Some Quotes about Dad:
“A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again.” — Enid Bagnold
“It no longer bothers me that I may be constantly searching for father figures; by this time, I have found several and dearly enjoyed knowing them all.” — Alice Walker
“None of you can ever be proud enough of being the child of SUCH a Father who has not his equal in this world-so great, so good, so faultless. Try, all of you, to follow in his footsteps and don’t be discouraged, for to be really in everything like him none of you, I am sure, will ever be. Try, therefore, to be like him in some points, and you will have acquired a great deal.” — Victoria, Queen of England
“That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all.” — J. August Strindberg
“It is a wise father that knows his own child.” — William Shakespeare
“It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was.” — Anne Sexton
“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” — English Proverb
“To be a successful father . . . there’s one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don’t look at it for the first two years.” — Ernest Hemingway
“A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.” — Gabriel GarcÃa Márquez
“I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father’s protection.” — Sigmund Freud
“I watched a small man with thick calluses on both hands work fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I saw him once literally bleed from the bottoms of his feet, a man who came here uneducated, alone, unable to speak the language, who taught me all I needed to know about faith and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example.” — Mario Cuomo
“Be kind to thy father, for when thou wert young,
Who loved thee so fondly as he?
He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue,
And joined in thy innocent glee.”
– Margaret Courtney
“If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.” — Bill Cosby
“Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!” — Lydia M. Child
Tribute to Father:
“Honor your father and mother.” This is the first of the Ten Commandments that ends with a promise. And this is the promise: If you honor your father and mother, “you will live a long life, full of blessing.” And now a word to you fathers. Don’t make your children angry by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction approved by the Lord. Ephesians Chapter 6 verses 2 – 4
Fathers are the biggest source of strength for a child. The innocent eyes of a child perceive father as the all-powerful, most knowledge, truly affectionate and the most important person in the family. For daughters, fathers are the first men they adore and fall in love with. While for sons their fathers are the strongest person they know and someone they aspire to emulate. Even for the grownups fathers are someone whom they look up to for the most experienced and honest advice that is always in the best of our interest. For this great figure in our life that we know as father – it becomes our utmost duty to pay our humblest tribute on the occasion of Father’s Day.
Say Thanks to Dad on Father’s Day
Children blessed with a loving father should consider themselves fortunate. For, they have someone to take care of their needs and interests. Someone to stop them when they are diverting to a wrong path and guide them on a road to success and virtue. For many of us fathers have always been there to solve our innumerous mathematics and science problems and explain the same formula hundredth time or better still until it is understood by us. Fathers would never ever give a smallest of hint to let us know how hard they work to take care of our needs and fulfill even the most whimsical of demands… For all their adorable scolding and affectionate punishments we all owe a big thanks to our Dads.
Apologize to Dad on Father’s Day
Father’s Day also brings with it the wonderful opportunity to apologize for all our rude and insensitive behavior. We as children often take the love and affection of our parents for granted and treat them with outright contempt. We need to apologize. We must feel great to have the presence of loving father in our lives and do not disrespect the blessing of God on us. On Father’s Day we must says “Sorry” to our Dad and seek their forgiveness for our wrong behavior.
Celebrate Father’s Day with Dad
We must make all efforts to celebrate Father’s Day with our Dad. Children staying away from father must especially strive to spend the day with father and show gratitude for all their support and love. We must pamper father by spending the day in a manner he likes most. It could be going out for a picnic or indulging him with a gourmet meal. We can also express love with thoughtful gifts accompanied by a bouquet of his favorite flowers. The idea is to show our affection and tell Daddy how much he is loved and appreciated not just on Father’s Day but every single day of our lives.
happy fathers day to all fathers...from lifeneedmotivation.blogspot.com
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Motivation Quotes - Ways to Move Yourself to Action
Moving ourselves to act can be very tricky. We are motivated through different means that there is no specific formula that applies to all of us. You may be motivated through extrinsic rewards but others prefer to be pushed intrinsically. However, if there is one thing we must know, we all want to hear encouraging words to keep us going. Motivation quotes are the best motivating factors that can help us reach our goals in life against all odds.
Do you feel good about yourself when a friend says something positive about you? Do you feel glad when someone appreciates you? Does hearing your friends' encouragements give you an extra boost of confidence? These are exactly the effects of motivation quotes.
Here are some samples of motivation quotes you should start saying to your loved ones:
o If others can do it, so can I
There are times when we feel like we cannot do something since it is so unreachable. The point is, if others were able to get it, you can too. There are many ways on how you can reach your goals and having role models can help you a lot. Follow what others before you had done to reach their dreams. We are all human beings here and you definitely have what it takes to achieve your goals too. Never think you cannot do something without even trying it.
o Try and try until you succeed
Every successful individual had passed through rough times. It is a fact that everybody encounters many problems and obstacles along the path towards success. It is only normal for you to experience challenges along the way but how you handle them is what matters the most. Always think positive and never allow failures to stop you from going after your goals. Learn from your mistakes and always keep a positive mental attitude.
o Always give the world your best shot
We must never settle for second best. Once we are given the opportunity, we have to grab it and do everything we can in our power to reach our goals. Always do your best in everything you do to avoid disappointments. Try to do things right the first time around by giving your 100% attention and determination.
These motivation quotes are just some of the words of encouragements which can make you move yourself to action. They are very useful especially in achieving your goals as below:
o They can motivate you to go after your aspirations in life despite the challenges that will come your way.
o They give you confidence and self esteem that no matter what happens you have to do your best.
o They can serve as your inspiration and at the same time your guide in doing what is right for you to reach the peak of success.
So move yourself to action by keeping in mind these motivation quotes.
Do you feel good about yourself when a friend says something positive about you? Do you feel glad when someone appreciates you? Does hearing your friends' encouragements give you an extra boost of confidence? These are exactly the effects of motivation quotes.
Here are some samples of motivation quotes you should start saying to your loved ones:
o If others can do it, so can I
There are times when we feel like we cannot do something since it is so unreachable. The point is, if others were able to get it, you can too. There are many ways on how you can reach your goals and having role models can help you a lot. Follow what others before you had done to reach their dreams. We are all human beings here and you definitely have what it takes to achieve your goals too. Never think you cannot do something without even trying it.
o Try and try until you succeed
Every successful individual had passed through rough times. It is a fact that everybody encounters many problems and obstacles along the path towards success. It is only normal for you to experience challenges along the way but how you handle them is what matters the most. Always think positive and never allow failures to stop you from going after your goals. Learn from your mistakes and always keep a positive mental attitude.
o Always give the world your best shot
We must never settle for second best. Once we are given the opportunity, we have to grab it and do everything we can in our power to reach our goals. Always do your best in everything you do to avoid disappointments. Try to do things right the first time around by giving your 100% attention and determination.
These motivation quotes are just some of the words of encouragements which can make you move yourself to action. They are very useful especially in achieving your goals as below:
o They can motivate you to go after your aspirations in life despite the challenges that will come your way.
o They give you confidence and self esteem that no matter what happens you have to do your best.
o They can serve as your inspiration and at the same time your guide in doing what is right for you to reach the peak of success.
So move yourself to action by keeping in mind these motivation quotes.
10 Motivation Quotes That Make You Think
Over the years, many successful individuals have left behind valuable words of wisdom that have been quoted for motivational use. These motivation quotes have become very popular and can be seen cited in many places. While I have become a big fan of studying quotes, with this article I am challenging you to go beyond simply reading the quotes and think about how you can take action upon the advice given.
The ten motivation quotes that follow are a great set to get your mind working. In order for them to become motivational to you, they must get you to do something. Read these quotes and think about them. Then take some sort of action to better your life. Bring the quotes to life!
1) "A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier." - Tom Stoppard
Be positive and those around you will become more positive. If they don't, ignore them and go on living your life. Life is too great to waste is self-pity and complaint. Enjoy life and all its moments.
2) "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
Be a pioneer and do things differently from everybody else. Create your life the way you want it. Be positive and inspire others to be positive as well. This is the way to make the world a better place.
3) "Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future." - Marilyn Ferguson
Let go of your regrets. You are not stuck in your current situation. If you do not like it, do not waste your time complaining; do something about it. Take a step toward a life that you will be happy living.
4) "If at first an idea isn't absurd there is no hope for it." - Albert Einstein
Dream big. Small dreams get crushed easily because they are not worth living. The greatest dreams are what make the greatest achievements and lives worth living. Dream your biggest dreams and go after them with all your heart until they come true. You'll be glad you didn't listen to those telling you that your ideas are crazy.
5) "Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill
Failure is good. It means you tried something difficult. It means you can now learn and move on. Dare to fail because it is simply a stepping stone toward success. Keep moving forward and love the journey of live for all it is and for all it can be.
6) "Those who do not move, do not notice their chains." - Rosa Luxemburg
If you do not take action toward your goals, you are a prisoner to your own life. Do not fear failure, for the only true failure is in not trying. Setbacks are going to happen. On the road to your goals, obstacles are going to appear. By not conquering them you are allowing them to conquer you. Free yourself from your chains and start moving.
7) "Often what seems an impossible climb is just a staircase without the steps drawn in." - Robert Brault
There are few things in this world that are truly impossible. At the same time, there are many things in this world that have not been done yet. Just because something has not been done yet does not mean it is impossible. It just means no one has persisted enough to make it work yet. Be that person who finds the way and enjoy the great rewards that follow.
8) "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of." - Benjamin Franklin
Life is a series of moments. Each moment that you waste with inaction is a moment that you cannot get back. This inaction makes your life shorter. Live life by doing. Live the life you want to live and make the most of all its moments.
9) "Either you run the day or the day runs you." - Jim Rohn
Take control of your day. Plan out what you want to accomplish and then do it. You can live your day or let it pass you by. Stand up and be the leader of your own life.
10) "Just do it." - Nike
So simple, yet so powerful. This really needs no explanation. You know what you need to do, so just do it!
Take a moment to think about one of these motivation quotes at a time. Apply it to your current situation and then bring it to live. Taking action is what makes these quotes motivational. Taking action is what makes your life meaningful.
The ten motivation quotes that follow are a great set to get your mind working. In order for them to become motivational to you, they must get you to do something. Read these quotes and think about them. Then take some sort of action to better your life. Bring the quotes to life!
1) "A healthy attitude is contagious but don't wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier." - Tom Stoppard
Be positive and those around you will become more positive. If they don't, ignore them and go on living your life. Life is too great to waste is self-pity and complaint. Enjoy life and all its moments.
2) "If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader." - John Quincy Adams
Be a pioneer and do things differently from everybody else. Create your life the way you want it. Be positive and inspire others to be positive as well. This is the way to make the world a better place.
3) "Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future." - Marilyn Ferguson
Let go of your regrets. You are not stuck in your current situation. If you do not like it, do not waste your time complaining; do something about it. Take a step toward a life that you will be happy living.
4) "If at first an idea isn't absurd there is no hope for it." - Albert Einstein
Dream big. Small dreams get crushed easily because they are not worth living. The greatest dreams are what make the greatest achievements and lives worth living. Dream your biggest dreams and go after them with all your heart until they come true. You'll be glad you didn't listen to those telling you that your ideas are crazy.
5) "Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill
Failure is good. It means you tried something difficult. It means you can now learn and move on. Dare to fail because it is simply a stepping stone toward success. Keep moving forward and love the journey of live for all it is and for all it can be.
6) "Those who do not move, do not notice their chains." - Rosa Luxemburg
If you do not take action toward your goals, you are a prisoner to your own life. Do not fear failure, for the only true failure is in not trying. Setbacks are going to happen. On the road to your goals, obstacles are going to appear. By not conquering them you are allowing them to conquer you. Free yourself from your chains and start moving.
7) "Often what seems an impossible climb is just a staircase without the steps drawn in." - Robert Brault
There are few things in this world that are truly impossible. At the same time, there are many things in this world that have not been done yet. Just because something has not been done yet does not mean it is impossible. It just means no one has persisted enough to make it work yet. Be that person who finds the way and enjoy the great rewards that follow.
8) "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of." - Benjamin Franklin
Life is a series of moments. Each moment that you waste with inaction is a moment that you cannot get back. This inaction makes your life shorter. Live life by doing. Live the life you want to live and make the most of all its moments.
9) "Either you run the day or the day runs you." - Jim Rohn
Take control of your day. Plan out what you want to accomplish and then do it. You can live your day or let it pass you by. Stand up and be the leader of your own life.
10) "Just do it." - Nike
So simple, yet so powerful. This really needs no explanation. You know what you need to do, so just do it!
Take a moment to think about one of these motivation quotes at a time. Apply it to your current situation and then bring it to live. Taking action is what makes these quotes motivational. Taking action is what makes your life meaningful.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Self Motivation - Finding Passion in Everyday Life
Self motivation is a phrase often tossed about in vague terms. In general, most people interpret it as the drive to get up and do something. Pursuing a dream career, working hard for a promotion, accepting the challenge of a competition, these are all stereotypical scenarios commonly thought of when the subject of motivation arises. While these are indeed admirable examples, they are not the kind of situations that bring about lasting changes in a person's desire to go, to do, to achieve, and to be happy.
The true secret to sustainable, lasting self motivation is much more intrinsic than simply achieving a goal. Reaching for and attaining goals are important. Accomplishing challenging tasks can boost self esteem and confidence. These can in turn increase a person's motivation to continue down a particular path. However, when viewed as part of a larger picture, individual achievements allow boosts in motivation only for the moment. Fueling motivation one achievement at a time is the equivalent of filling the gas tank in a car. The resulting fuel will last until the tank becomes empty. Then another achievement or challenge will be required to fill the tank again before the car can continue.
Why is this stop-and-go method of self motivation a flawed approach? Invariably, there will come a time when a person cannot find a challenge hard enough or an achievement worthwhile enough to keep their motivation going. Sustainable motivation is the key to a happy life and continued personal growth. Finding passion in ordinary, everyday life allows a person to find little things to help them stay motivated. When big challenges and impressive accomplishments have exhausted themselves, we are left with simple, ordinary life. The garden that needs tending, the emails that need to be answered, the favors promised to friends and family, there is passion and motivation boosts to be had in these every day activities as well.
Self motivation, by its very nature, is an intrinsic force that varies from one individual to the next. This is exactly why it is "self" motivation. Finding the reason, the calling, that brings the self simple joy, happiness, and a feeling of satisfaction on a daily basis will be different for every person. It may be as simple as dangling a mental carrot - a promise of a walk in the garden in the evening after mundane chores are finished. It can be found in the satisfaction of helping a neighbor. The passion found in everyday life can be just as motivating as winning a marathon.
Greg J Yarmesch is an online publisher providing great tips on self motivation. To learn more about this topic, visit http://www.True-Motivation.com/ today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Greg_J_Yarmesch
The true secret to sustainable, lasting self motivation is much more intrinsic than simply achieving a goal. Reaching for and attaining goals are important. Accomplishing challenging tasks can boost self esteem and confidence. These can in turn increase a person's motivation to continue down a particular path. However, when viewed as part of a larger picture, individual achievements allow boosts in motivation only for the moment. Fueling motivation one achievement at a time is the equivalent of filling the gas tank in a car. The resulting fuel will last until the tank becomes empty. Then another achievement or challenge will be required to fill the tank again before the car can continue.
Why is this stop-and-go method of self motivation a flawed approach? Invariably, there will come a time when a person cannot find a challenge hard enough or an achievement worthwhile enough to keep their motivation going. Sustainable motivation is the key to a happy life and continued personal growth. Finding passion in ordinary, everyday life allows a person to find little things to help them stay motivated. When big challenges and impressive accomplishments have exhausted themselves, we are left with simple, ordinary life. The garden that needs tending, the emails that need to be answered, the favors promised to friends and family, there is passion and motivation boosts to be had in these every day activities as well.
Self motivation, by its very nature, is an intrinsic force that varies from one individual to the next. This is exactly why it is "self" motivation. Finding the reason, the calling, that brings the self simple joy, happiness, and a feeling of satisfaction on a daily basis will be different for every person. It may be as simple as dangling a mental carrot - a promise of a walk in the garden in the evening after mundane chores are finished. It can be found in the satisfaction of helping a neighbor. The passion found in everyday life can be just as motivating as winning a marathon.
Greg J Yarmesch is an online publisher providing great tips on self motivation. To learn more about this topic, visit http://www.True-Motivation.com/ today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Greg_J_Yarmesch
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Who Needs Motivation?
What is motivation? Motivation is described as the DESIRE to achieve a goal through the commencement or launching of goal oriented behavior. Motivation is said to be developed two of which way, either intrinsically or extrinsically. Intrinsically meaning that the motivation comes from within, it is attributed to their results and the factors that they are able to control. Conversely, extrinsic motivation is derived from an outside force separate from the individual. Examples of this can be money, the threat of punishment, but in the realm of fitness, it is most commonly attributed to how an individual believe others will perceive them.
In addition to intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, individuals also respond differently towards positive and negative motivation. Individuals that are positively motivated generally respond because they receive enjoyment or confidence as a result of the task they were a part of. For instance, a person goes to the gym 5 days a week for an hour each day so that he/she can achieve a lean physique that makes them more attractive to the opposite sex so that they can meet their soul mate, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Conversely, negative motivation is the result of taking on a task in order to avoid some undesirable outcome. For instance, a person goes to the gym 5 days a week for an hour each day so that he/she can avoid becoming obese and develop cardiovascular problems
Importance of Motivation
So, why is motivation important? Just as gasoline is fuel for cars enabling them to move, well motivation is the fuel for human beings. Motivation is the fuel that pushes us to fulfill any wants and needs that we may desire. Motivation enables people to live fulfilling lives. Without motivation nothing would ever get done. Motivation starts by first setting goals for yourself because if you do not have goals you have nothing to aim for. Before beginning a fitness program trainers will constantly reinforce how important it is to set goals, where do you want to be by the end of your program. By doing this, you are able to properly design your program to meet all your expectations. For example, if person A is only able to bench press one hundred pounds and he starts a weight training program without setting a goal, he will not necessarily know what to do or what to work on. On the other hand, if you have a similar individual (person B) who is able to bench press one hundred pounds but unlike the previous person, he set a goal to be able to bench press one hundred forty pounds within a month, chances are that you will see greater advancement in the individual who took the time to plan. By setting a goal of increasing the amount of weight he is able to bench press to one hundred and forty within a month, this individual knows that each week he should be increasing his weight by ten pounds.
It is important to note that goals should be very specific like the one in the example where person B's goal was to improve his bench press by forty pounds over the course of a month. It is best not to set a very large and outrageous goal such as becoming the number one bodybuilder in the world. By making goals that are much more attainable such as getting a gym membership, you are able to keep motivation high. In addition, by setting small attainable goals, the likelihood of being unsuccessful is reduced. Failure is the biggest deterrent when it comes to motivation. Once an individual experiences failure then they begin to lose sight of their overall goal and reasons for motivation.
Fitness & Motivation
When it comes to your fitness sometimes the hardest part is not lifting that 30 Ib. dumbbell, or doing those last 5 pull ups but in actuality it is simply getting off the coach and getting started. No matter whom you are, whether you are an individual that is beginning your fitness training for the first time or an experienced weight trainer, we all need some kind of motivation. Understanding how motivation affects you can determine whether or not you are successful in your fitness program but more importantly LIFE. As mentioned earlier, some people are motivated intrinsically and some are motivated extrinsically. Some people may focus on their past successes if they have digressed and have set new goals to not only reclaim their past glory but also surpass them. A commonality that you will see more often nowadays is that after a few years removed from the military, a soldier may become very out of shape and merely a shadow of their former selves. Since they were no longer required to stay in shape because of active duty, they cease to exercise. Individuals like this may be driven by the desire to be able to do the same activities they used to be able to do. On the other hand, you have individuals that are motivated by the fact that they feel they will appear more attractive to the opposite sex. For instance, a computer geek who has spent countless hours in front of their computer stuffing their face with junk may have become slightly overweight as a result. Furthermore, their overweight physique has left them undesirable to the opposite sex and the cause of ridicule by their peers. Individuals such as this are usually driven by the desire to be accepted by both their peers and the opposite sex. They feel that if they achieve a great physique that they will not only become more attractive to the opposite sex and possibly find their soul mate but that they will no longer be the butt of everyone's jokes.
Regardless of what motivational tools are used, it is imperative that you find something that is able to consistently motivate you to work out and become "fit." Remember, set small goals that are easily attainable in an effort to keep motivated. As you become more and more successful at motivating yourself, do not be afraid to start creating bigger and better goals. Motivation is the key and it is up to you to motivate yourself.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Roaul_Channer
In addition to intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, individuals also respond differently towards positive and negative motivation. Individuals that are positively motivated generally respond because they receive enjoyment or confidence as a result of the task they were a part of. For instance, a person goes to the gym 5 days a week for an hour each day so that he/she can achieve a lean physique that makes them more attractive to the opposite sex so that they can meet their soul mate, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. Conversely, negative motivation is the result of taking on a task in order to avoid some undesirable outcome. For instance, a person goes to the gym 5 days a week for an hour each day so that he/she can avoid becoming obese and develop cardiovascular problems
Importance of Motivation
So, why is motivation important? Just as gasoline is fuel for cars enabling them to move, well motivation is the fuel for human beings. Motivation is the fuel that pushes us to fulfill any wants and needs that we may desire. Motivation enables people to live fulfilling lives. Without motivation nothing would ever get done. Motivation starts by first setting goals for yourself because if you do not have goals you have nothing to aim for. Before beginning a fitness program trainers will constantly reinforce how important it is to set goals, where do you want to be by the end of your program. By doing this, you are able to properly design your program to meet all your expectations. For example, if person A is only able to bench press one hundred pounds and he starts a weight training program without setting a goal, he will not necessarily know what to do or what to work on. On the other hand, if you have a similar individual (person B) who is able to bench press one hundred pounds but unlike the previous person, he set a goal to be able to bench press one hundred forty pounds within a month, chances are that you will see greater advancement in the individual who took the time to plan. By setting a goal of increasing the amount of weight he is able to bench press to one hundred and forty within a month, this individual knows that each week he should be increasing his weight by ten pounds.
It is important to note that goals should be very specific like the one in the example where person B's goal was to improve his bench press by forty pounds over the course of a month. It is best not to set a very large and outrageous goal such as becoming the number one bodybuilder in the world. By making goals that are much more attainable such as getting a gym membership, you are able to keep motivation high. In addition, by setting small attainable goals, the likelihood of being unsuccessful is reduced. Failure is the biggest deterrent when it comes to motivation. Once an individual experiences failure then they begin to lose sight of their overall goal and reasons for motivation.
Fitness & Motivation
When it comes to your fitness sometimes the hardest part is not lifting that 30 Ib. dumbbell, or doing those last 5 pull ups but in actuality it is simply getting off the coach and getting started. No matter whom you are, whether you are an individual that is beginning your fitness training for the first time or an experienced weight trainer, we all need some kind of motivation. Understanding how motivation affects you can determine whether or not you are successful in your fitness program but more importantly LIFE. As mentioned earlier, some people are motivated intrinsically and some are motivated extrinsically. Some people may focus on their past successes if they have digressed and have set new goals to not only reclaim their past glory but also surpass them. A commonality that you will see more often nowadays is that after a few years removed from the military, a soldier may become very out of shape and merely a shadow of their former selves. Since they were no longer required to stay in shape because of active duty, they cease to exercise. Individuals like this may be driven by the desire to be able to do the same activities they used to be able to do. On the other hand, you have individuals that are motivated by the fact that they feel they will appear more attractive to the opposite sex. For instance, a computer geek who has spent countless hours in front of their computer stuffing their face with junk may have become slightly overweight as a result. Furthermore, their overweight physique has left them undesirable to the opposite sex and the cause of ridicule by their peers. Individuals such as this are usually driven by the desire to be accepted by both their peers and the opposite sex. They feel that if they achieve a great physique that they will not only become more attractive to the opposite sex and possibly find their soul mate but that they will no longer be the butt of everyone's jokes.
Regardless of what motivational tools are used, it is imperative that you find something that is able to consistently motivate you to work out and become "fit." Remember, set small goals that are easily attainable in an effort to keep motivated. As you become more and more successful at motivating yourself, do not be afraid to start creating bigger and better goals. Motivation is the key and it is up to you to motivate yourself.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Roaul_Channer
Sunday, April 25, 2010
The Seven Keys to Motivation
Motivation. It's a complicated subject that is studied by
many and understood by few. Virtually every aspect of
human life -- from the mundane to the life-changing -- is
guided, swayed and altered by motivating factors.
For instance, what to have for dinner may be motivated by a
desire to lose or gain weight. Whether or not to attend a
business seminar may be motivated by the speakers,
location and cost. When and where to buy new clothing may
be motivated by a long list of personal preferences as well
as the changing seasons and weather conditions.
Even reading this article is a motivated behavior. Do you
like the style of writing? Are you curious about the subject
matter? Do you have a desire to learn new information? Do
you have enough time to finish reading? If the answers are
no, you probably won't continue reading!
But since you have continued, you are obviously motivated.
You want to learn more about how to get and stay
motivated, and how this motivation can help you become a
better business owner.
THE BUSINESS OF MOTIVATION
Motivation is one of the most powerful driving forces in the
workplace. It can mean the difference between tremendous
success and failure.
Motivation stems from two sources. The first part of
motivation is external or extrinsic (outside the person)
sources. Other motivating factors come from internal
forces, which are mainly your thoughts, patterns and
collective experiences.
However, humans are unique, so what motivates Jack will
not necessarily motivate Jill. You -- and only you -- will be
able to determine what works.
Take the time to examine what internal and external factors
are motivating you as a business owner. What can you do
to enhance and refine your motivation to make yourself
more productive and more fulfilled?
Here are seven keys to motivation that may prove helpful.
1. INSPIRATION
Inspiration is critical to getting and staying motivated. If you
are not interested in your business, your motivation level will
never be high and you won't be able to sustain interest for
very long.
On the flip side, if you are energized and excited about the
work you are doing, you will have more persistence, energy
and intensity.
Take an honest look at your inspiration level. Are you
excited about going to work or is it an obligation? You would
be surprised at the number of people who choose a
business that looks good on paper, but in reality does not
interest them in the least. These individuals will grow
weary
and uninterested pretty quickly because they have no
inspiration or passion to sustain them during the difficult
times they will encounter as a small business owner.
If you don't really enjoy your work, then think how you can
re-focus your small business to better match your needs.
Or consider making a change entirely. That's pretty drastic
advice, but inspiration is that important.
2. SETTING GOALS
Short and long-term goal setting is vital for any business
owner. If you didn't set goals, you would be adrift with
nothing to strive for and no charted course to follow.
How could you possibly be motivated if you were unsure
about the direction of your company?
Take the time to put your goals in writing. A business plan
may sound daunting, but it is really nothing more than
goals, strategies, implementation and a budget. Write your
own business plan and update it at least annually. Include
"mini-goals" that can be accomplished in a matter of hours,
days or weeks as well as the more ambitious "grand-goals"
that may take years to complete. Refer to this plan
throughout the year.
But can a business plan really help motivate you? Yes!
Written goals will make you feel more professional and
certainly more connected to your business. It will also free
you from having to reinvent your business goals every single
day.
3. NETWORKING
Another key factor in getting and staying motivated is
networking with other small business owners. One person
can't move huge mountains. However, when a number of
people begin working together the mountains are suddenly
only small hills -- simply challenges waiting to be
surmounted.
In fact, the isolation of working alone is of one the most
difficult parts of being an entrepreneur. Mutual support is
motivating. So, make it easier on yourself by connecting
with others either in your community or online. Even when
businesses are not related, you will often find common
ground and ways to work together.
Many successful entrepreneurs report that finding the right
networking group was a turning point in the growth of the
business. Working together, a networking group can help
its members generate more qualified sales leads and solve
problems faster and more efficiently. Sharing ideas,
expertise and experience is also an invaluable aspect of
networking groups. And, don't forget about sharing costs,
possibly by buying in bulk or with joint marketing projects.
Your own personal team of business owners will help
re-energize you when the burdens of running your own
business seem too much. With your networking team to
rely on, you can accomplish more in less time and probably
have more fun in the process. Certainly, you will feel less
alone.
4. REWARD YOURSELF
Small business owners will always have to work hard, but
all work and no play is a huge mistake. Your motivation will
soon begin to fall if you never take any time away from the
demands of running the business.
So, plan frequent rewards for yourself. No, it doesn't need
to be a trip to Hawaii (although this is a great idea). Your
reward can be as simple as a lunch out with an old friend, a
matinee with your significant other, an afternoon of
shopping or a relaxing massage.
If your budget and time will allow, take a few days off for a
short trip or simply schedule a vacation from work for a few
days. Make it a real vacation -- even if you don't leave town --
so no checking email, voice mail or the fax machine. You
need to get away, unwind and renew yourself. This "down"
time to regenerate will help improve your attitude and
perspective. It sounds corny, but you will come back to your
business with a new sense of motivation.
5. EXERCISE
While it isn't always immediately apparent, there is a
powerful connection between the mind and the body. It is
vital for every small business owner to take breaks and
exercise -- everyday. If your body isn't healthy, your
motivation will certainly suffer.
These exercise breaks don't have to be huge blocks of time,
and you needn't spend money joining a gym or hiring a
personal trainer. Start by walking briskly for 30 minutes
before, during or after work. After you have incorporated a
walk each day, then try doubling the time or doing two walks
each day.
Whatever works for you is best, but the important thing is to
start. You will begin to feel better.
After the walking is part of your routine, add some basic light
weights. Buy a tape or go online to find out how to properly
use the weights so you won't injure yourself.
You can keep the weights under your desk, and use them
for just a few minutes at a time. Buy a timer the next time
you are at the grocery store. Set the timer for for three
minutes to start and then add a minute or two until you're up
to 10 or 15 minutes each day.
Some small business owners have a television at work and
they schedule a CNN break along with their weights. This
way, they are catching up with world and local news while
simultaneously getting some moderate exercise.
8. ORGANIZE
Organization is critical to motivation. How can you feel good
about your work, when you can't find important papers or
you are constantly late returning messages? Your
business will falter and your motivation will suffer.
Some people just can't get organized. If you are one of
them, then consider bringing in someone -- a business
friend, family member or professional -- to help you get the
clutter and mess cleaned up. You will be amazed at how
this one important step will help you get back on the
organizational track. Don't stop there. Now really get
organized by creating business systems that will help you
streamline your operations.
The real challenge will be keeping yourself on track by
maintaining these systems. For many, it is a daily
challenge, but if you use your organizational systems you'll
be free to think about other important issues.
7. MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKERS AND AUTHORS
As small business owners, it seems we are bombarded
with motivational ideas and materials-- tapes, books, CD's,
seminars, workbooks, videos and more. Why are there so
many different motivational products, authors and
speakers? Because people are buying these materials.
Used effectively, they are effective and therefore they sell!
However, there are so many different motivational gurus that
it is often difficult to see through the clutter to find someone
that makes sense for you -- someone who can get you "fired
up" about working and improving your business.
Try talking to your mentor or networking group members to
see who they might recommend. Start being aware of the
motivational industry and how it might help you become
more enthused and positive about your business. Do some
light research of your own to find some authors and
speakers that interest you.
Before you invest in motivational materials, you can probably
find some inexpensive ways to obtain the materials. Check
out your local library, tune into your local PBS station, buy
materials with a networking friend, visit used bookstores or
buy used materials online. Don't make a huge investment,
because you will probably want to sample many different
viewpoints.
But do these materials really work? Yes, but only if you
make the effort. Just like exercise, you have to work the
muscles -- in this case your mind muscles.
It is up to you to take that information and apply it to your own
life and business. Really use the motivational ideas over a
period of time and you will begin to see results.
KEEP THE MOMENTUM GOING
Motivation is what moves us forward in our daily and
business lives. Take the time to examine your motivating
factors and use some of these keys to improve your focus
and renew your enthusiasm. If you keep on track, the
motivation momentum can't help but carry you forward.
Nancy Wurtzel is the founder and of All About Baby, an ecommerce company that offers personalized and memorable gifts for children. In addition to a wide product selection, All About Baby also featured helpful and interesting site content. In addition to running her own business, Nancy consults with other small business owners providing advice about growing their ecommerce sites.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nancy_Wurtzel
Motivation - What Is It Really?
Motivation has been a hot topic for as long as most folks can remember. Some define motivation as a drive or a desire. Others define motivation as they work they do. For me, motivation is neither. Motivation is, in fact, the energy that is "underneath" the drive, desire and work. It's this "energy" that affects the quality of one's motivation, one's motives, and the quality of the action-result dynamic that results from motivation. More than that, this energy called motivation results from the degree one is living a life "on purpose" and the degree to which one is in alignment with one's true and real self, one's heart.
For me, motivation is an energy...a physical, psychic, emotional and spiritual energy. This energy can be described on one end of a continuum as positive, juicy, strong, energetic, adventurous, exciting, playful, healing, etc., and on the other end as stagnant, blocked, stale, stagnant, depressed, negative, killing, etc.
Motivation is a mind-body dynamic, mostly body-oriented. In my experience, few would say "I think I'm motivated." Rather, I usually hear: "I feel motivated," or the converse, "I don't feel very motivated."
In addition, the expressions "fire in the belly", "His/her heart's not in it.", "gut check", and "the mind is willing but the flesh is weak", as well as many other expressions that center around the belly area (the "energy center" of the body in Eastern traditions), also point to the body as the focal point of motivation (as opposed to the mind), the center of this energy that drives one to actions and supports one to maintain a state of motivation. Motivation, for me, is a "felt sense".
So, for me, everyone is motivated....perhaps just not in the way another would like that one to be, or even in a way we would choose our self to be.
So,
When I choose to surf the net, instead of focusing on the task at hand, I'm motivated.
When I choose to see employees as functions, as opposed to people, I'm motivated.
When I choose to gossip, bully and be sarcastic in my speech as opposed to speaking respectfully, lovingly and compassionately, I'm motivated.
When I choose to cut corners and allow greed to drive my business behaviors and processes, rather than follow an ethical path, I'm motivated.
When I choose to view conflict and negotiation as win-lose as opposed to win-win, I'm motivated.
When I choose to cheat on my taxes and my diet, I'm motivated.
When I choose to take my paycheck and only give 75% of my self to my work, as opposed to showing up 100%, I'm motivated.
When I choose to lie, cheat and steal as opposed to coming from a place of honesty, integrity and trust, I'm motivated.
When I choose to act like an emotional child rather than manifest emotionally intelligence, I'm motivated.
When I allow my ego to get in the way, and engage in self-defeating behavior, instead of coming from my real and authentic self, I'm motivated.
When I choose to numb out in front of the TV, instead of enthusiastically diving into my tasks, I'm motivated.
When I choose to have an affair as opposed to working on my relationship, I'm motivated.
When I choose to hate, as opposed to love, I'm motivated.
So, everyone is motivated.
Again, for me, the deal is the quality of the energy of the motivation and, even more, what's "underneath" the quality of that energy.
For me, what drives the quality of the energy I refer to as motivation is: purpose.
For me, purpose is heart-driven, as opposed to being mental-mind-ego driven. Purpose is what gives meaning to our existence. So, again, for me, motivation is related to purpose, and meaning. The difference in purpose as heart driven, and purpose as ego-driven is what determines where folks live, literally and figuratively, in the space between purpose and purposelessness, and meaning and meaninglessness at work, at home and at play.
In much of life, we move from action to result, action to result, action to result. The question is, "What drives my actions? What drives the motivation (energy) of my actions. The direction of one's life is most often judged on this dynamic and many also judge "success" based on this movement from action to result.
In the larger scheme of things, for me, the energy and quality of the action-result dynamic and the energy and quality with which one relates to "success" is related to whether one is living a life "on purpose" and from where one's purpose emanates (ego or heart).
In my experience, for folks at work, at home and at play, the degree of "pain and suffering" (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, social, financial, etc.) one experiences is based on the degree to which one is living out one's purpose.
So, then, for me, directly related to purpose is what we value...what it is we deem important and the degree to which we assign worth and "value" to what we value.
The Japanese have a decision-making process they refer to as "The Five Whys". Essentially, when one has to make a decision, one asks "Why", and to that response, again asks "Why?" five times...the idea being that if one can drill down five levels, then one can be fairly certain the decision has merit, i.e., a sound grounding and foundation and is not, for better words, an emotional, knee-jerk or gut decision.
So, with respect to values, when I work with folks on values, motives, etc., we ask "Why?" five times. In other words, "What does (that value, that action, that decision, etc.) "get" you?" Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
At the beginning of the work, the answers are often insightful...and usually bring one to a conscious self-awareness as to what's really, really, really, underneath their thoughts, actions and activities, i.e., their motives.
Most often it's unconscious ego needs, for example, for control, recognition, and security.
It's when we take this first look at values that folks then get to the "heart" of the matter and move into the process of discovering their (heart-felt) purpose and then come to see often vast differences between their heart-felt purpose and what has been, to date, an ego-driven desire they "thought" was their purpose.
The underlying, and root cause, questions that ultimately define our motives, then, is "What do I value?" And, then, even more importantly, "From where do I get my values?" And, finally, "Do my values bring me a greater degree of inner peace, harmony, and sense of well-being, than they do pain and suffering?"
As this process continues, folks begin to view and approach life with a difference lens; and their internal map of reality begins to change. This change manifests in how they begin to view their world of work (home and play), what's really important to their happiness and sense of well-being.
So, as folks take this conscious journey into exploring their motivation, their values, and their purpose, they often discover there's a vast difference between "striving" and "struggling" as they explore their past and current notions of "motivation" and, relatedly, purpose and meaning of work, of life, etc. They often show up with a new-found "energy" that is positive, juicy, willing, engaging, adventurous, curious, etc.
Assuredly, folks who consciously undertake the requisite deeper purpose and values work, can and will experience challenges, bumps in the road, hurdles to overcome, but now they do so with a sense of striving, with a healthy positivity and energy that, yes, may require sweat, blood and tears, but the energy they expend in the pursuit of their values is positive, disciplined, willful, strong and courageous, exciting and adventurous. They are internally and intrinsically "motivated" and sense an inner peace in their efforts. In this place, there is true purpose and true (not ego-driven) meaning to one's life.
On the other hand, those who find themselves "struggling", usually as the result of ego-driven desires and motives, coming from a "faux" purpose, seemingly are always fighting the good fight, often come from a place of resentment, anger, defiance, compliance, guilt, shame, anxiety, and a sense of plodding. They lack a sense of adventure or excitement; often fail at positive self-management, often live with a "low-grade-fever" type of malaise, sadness, depression, hopelessness, frustration, resentment, jealousy, etc. For them, their purpose and the meaning they effort to experience are often mis-guided, most often externally driven (even though they "think" it comes from their own independent thinking...never having taken the time to go deeper inside and think through their so-called purpose). In reality, most often they are actually living someone else's values (parents, friends, neighbors, reality TV characters...), i.e., someone else's purpose and so it's no wonder they seldom experience true happiness in both the short- and long-term..
So, at the end of the day, yes, both groups of people are, in fact, motivated. Both would say they "have values."
So, concerning their being motivated, and relatedly to purpose and meaning of life, the $10 questions I might pose are:
How might each view their "sense of self?" And from where do they derive their sense of self?
If they made a list of their values and then made another list of their daily do-ings, be-ings and thoughts, would the second list directly reflect the first? If not, what's underneath the disconnect?
What role might ego play in the dynamics of their relationships, with their own self and then with others at work, at home and at play?
Is there a difference in how one feels about one's self when they are alone, at four in the morning, in their own company, as opposed to being in their new car, or in their new wardrobe, or in front of their new plasma TV screen, or at work, or being the life of the party, or the standout at the meeting...? And if so, what accounts for the disconnect? What's the "cake" and what's the "icing on the cake" and why?
How might each view their world of work and their role in it?
Does work, life and play have meaning? How so?
In terms of motivation, how is your energy and where are you generally on the continuum I mentioned at the start of this article?
and,
Why are you on the planet?
(c) 2005, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved.
---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---
Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching, counseling and facilitating. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit - that is, Essential Well BE-ing - Peter's approach focuses on personal, business, relational and spiritual coaching. He is a professional speaker and published author. For more information contact http://www.spiritheart.net, pvajda@spiritheart.net or phone 770.804.9125
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D
For me, motivation is an energy...a physical, psychic, emotional and spiritual energy. This energy can be described on one end of a continuum as positive, juicy, strong, energetic, adventurous, exciting, playful, healing, etc., and on the other end as stagnant, blocked, stale, stagnant, depressed, negative, killing, etc.
Motivation is a mind-body dynamic, mostly body-oriented. In my experience, few would say "I think I'm motivated." Rather, I usually hear: "I feel motivated," or the converse, "I don't feel very motivated."
In addition, the expressions "fire in the belly", "His/her heart's not in it.", "gut check", and "the mind is willing but the flesh is weak", as well as many other expressions that center around the belly area (the "energy center" of the body in Eastern traditions), also point to the body as the focal point of motivation (as opposed to the mind), the center of this energy that drives one to actions and supports one to maintain a state of motivation. Motivation, for me, is a "felt sense".
So, for me, everyone is motivated....perhaps just not in the way another would like that one to be, or even in a way we would choose our self to be.
So,
When I choose to surf the net, instead of focusing on the task at hand, I'm motivated.
When I choose to see employees as functions, as opposed to people, I'm motivated.
When I choose to gossip, bully and be sarcastic in my speech as opposed to speaking respectfully, lovingly and compassionately, I'm motivated.
When I choose to cut corners and allow greed to drive my business behaviors and processes, rather than follow an ethical path, I'm motivated.
When I choose to view conflict and negotiation as win-lose as opposed to win-win, I'm motivated.
When I choose to cheat on my taxes and my diet, I'm motivated.
When I choose to take my paycheck and only give 75% of my self to my work, as opposed to showing up 100%, I'm motivated.
When I choose to lie, cheat and steal as opposed to coming from a place of honesty, integrity and trust, I'm motivated.
When I choose to act like an emotional child rather than manifest emotionally intelligence, I'm motivated.
When I allow my ego to get in the way, and engage in self-defeating behavior, instead of coming from my real and authentic self, I'm motivated.
When I choose to numb out in front of the TV, instead of enthusiastically diving into my tasks, I'm motivated.
When I choose to have an affair as opposed to working on my relationship, I'm motivated.
When I choose to hate, as opposed to love, I'm motivated.
So, everyone is motivated.
Again, for me, the deal is the quality of the energy of the motivation and, even more, what's "underneath" the quality of that energy.
For me, what drives the quality of the energy I refer to as motivation is: purpose.
For me, purpose is heart-driven, as opposed to being mental-mind-ego driven. Purpose is what gives meaning to our existence. So, again, for me, motivation is related to purpose, and meaning. The difference in purpose as heart driven, and purpose as ego-driven is what determines where folks live, literally and figuratively, in the space between purpose and purposelessness, and meaning and meaninglessness at work, at home and at play.
In much of life, we move from action to result, action to result, action to result. The question is, "What drives my actions? What drives the motivation (energy) of my actions. The direction of one's life is most often judged on this dynamic and many also judge "success" based on this movement from action to result.
In the larger scheme of things, for me, the energy and quality of the action-result dynamic and the energy and quality with which one relates to "success" is related to whether one is living a life "on purpose" and from where one's purpose emanates (ego or heart).
In my experience, for folks at work, at home and at play, the degree of "pain and suffering" (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, social, financial, etc.) one experiences is based on the degree to which one is living out one's purpose.
So, then, for me, directly related to purpose is what we value...what it is we deem important and the degree to which we assign worth and "value" to what we value.
The Japanese have a decision-making process they refer to as "The Five Whys". Essentially, when one has to make a decision, one asks "Why", and to that response, again asks "Why?" five times...the idea being that if one can drill down five levels, then one can be fairly certain the decision has merit, i.e., a sound grounding and foundation and is not, for better words, an emotional, knee-jerk or gut decision.
So, with respect to values, when I work with folks on values, motives, etc., we ask "Why?" five times. In other words, "What does (that value, that action, that decision, etc.) "get" you?" Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
At the beginning of the work, the answers are often insightful...and usually bring one to a conscious self-awareness as to what's really, really, really, underneath their thoughts, actions and activities, i.e., their motives.
Most often it's unconscious ego needs, for example, for control, recognition, and security.
It's when we take this first look at values that folks then get to the "heart" of the matter and move into the process of discovering their (heart-felt) purpose and then come to see often vast differences between their heart-felt purpose and what has been, to date, an ego-driven desire they "thought" was their purpose.
The underlying, and root cause, questions that ultimately define our motives, then, is "What do I value?" And, then, even more importantly, "From where do I get my values?" And, finally, "Do my values bring me a greater degree of inner peace, harmony, and sense of well-being, than they do pain and suffering?"
As this process continues, folks begin to view and approach life with a difference lens; and their internal map of reality begins to change. This change manifests in how they begin to view their world of work (home and play), what's really important to their happiness and sense of well-being.
So, as folks take this conscious journey into exploring their motivation, their values, and their purpose, they often discover there's a vast difference between "striving" and "struggling" as they explore their past and current notions of "motivation" and, relatedly, purpose and meaning of work, of life, etc. They often show up with a new-found "energy" that is positive, juicy, willing, engaging, adventurous, curious, etc.
Assuredly, folks who consciously undertake the requisite deeper purpose and values work, can and will experience challenges, bumps in the road, hurdles to overcome, but now they do so with a sense of striving, with a healthy positivity and energy that, yes, may require sweat, blood and tears, but the energy they expend in the pursuit of their values is positive, disciplined, willful, strong and courageous, exciting and adventurous. They are internally and intrinsically "motivated" and sense an inner peace in their efforts. In this place, there is true purpose and true (not ego-driven) meaning to one's life.
On the other hand, those who find themselves "struggling", usually as the result of ego-driven desires and motives, coming from a "faux" purpose, seemingly are always fighting the good fight, often come from a place of resentment, anger, defiance, compliance, guilt, shame, anxiety, and a sense of plodding. They lack a sense of adventure or excitement; often fail at positive self-management, often live with a "low-grade-fever" type of malaise, sadness, depression, hopelessness, frustration, resentment, jealousy, etc. For them, their purpose and the meaning they effort to experience are often mis-guided, most often externally driven (even though they "think" it comes from their own independent thinking...never having taken the time to go deeper inside and think through their so-called purpose). In reality, most often they are actually living someone else's values (parents, friends, neighbors, reality TV characters...), i.e., someone else's purpose and so it's no wonder they seldom experience true happiness in both the short- and long-term..
So, at the end of the day, yes, both groups of people are, in fact, motivated. Both would say they "have values."
So, concerning their being motivated, and relatedly to purpose and meaning of life, the $10 questions I might pose are:
How might each view their "sense of self?" And from where do they derive their sense of self?
If they made a list of their values and then made another list of their daily do-ings, be-ings and thoughts, would the second list directly reflect the first? If not, what's underneath the disconnect?
What role might ego play in the dynamics of their relationships, with their own self and then with others at work, at home and at play?
Is there a difference in how one feels about one's self when they are alone, at four in the morning, in their own company, as opposed to being in their new car, or in their new wardrobe, or in front of their new plasma TV screen, or at work, or being the life of the party, or the standout at the meeting...? And if so, what accounts for the disconnect? What's the "cake" and what's the "icing on the cake" and why?
How might each view their world of work and their role in it?
Does work, life and play have meaning? How so?
In terms of motivation, how is your energy and where are you generally on the continuum I mentioned at the start of this article?
and,
Why are you on the planet?
(c) 2005, Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D. All rights in all media reserved.
---ABOUT THE AUTHOR---
Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D, C.P.C. is a founding partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company that supports conscious living through coaching, counseling and facilitating. With a practice based on the dynamic intersection of mind, body, emotion and spirit - that is, Essential Well BE-ing - Peter's approach focuses on personal, business, relational and spiritual coaching. He is a professional speaker and published author. For more information contact http://www.spiritheart.net, pvajda@spiritheart.net or phone 770.804.9125
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Peter_Vajda,_Ph.D
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
24 Thoughts to remember as you go through life
Principles Of Life
•Winning isn't everything but wanting to win is.
•You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
•When everything else is lost, the future still remains.
•Don't fight too much or the enemy will know your art of war.
•The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
•If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
•If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
•Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
•You won't get a second chance to make a first impression.
•Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
•Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
•If you are not failing, you're not taking enough risks.
•Don't try to get rid of your bad temper by losing it.
•If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
•Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything.
•There are two kinds of failures: Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
•Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
•All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
•Change your thoughts and you change your world.
•Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
•There are two kinds of fools in this world.: Those who give advice and those who don't take it.
•The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
•Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
•Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.
•Winning isn't everything but wanting to win is.
•You would achieve more, if you don't mind who gets the credit.
•When everything else is lost, the future still remains.
•Don't fight too much or the enemy will know your art of war.
•The only job you start at the top is when you dig a grave.
•If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything.
•If you do little things well, you'll do big ones better.
•Only thing that comes to you without effort is old age.
•You won't get a second chance to make a first impression.
•Only those who do nothing do not make mistakes.
•Never take a problem to your boss unless you have a solution.
•If you are not failing, you're not taking enough risks.
•Don't try to get rid of your bad temper by losing it.
•If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
•Those who don't make mistakes usually don't make anything.
•There are two kinds of failures: Those who think and never do, and those who do and never think.
•Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
•All progress has resulted from unpopular decisions.
•Change your thoughts and you change your world.
•Understanding proves intelligence, not the speed of the learning.
•There are two kinds of fools in this world.: Those who give advice and those who don't take it.
•The best way to kill an idea is to take it to a meeting.
•Management is doing things right. Leadership is doing the right things.
•Friendship founded on business is always better than business founded on friendship.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
"Top 5 Mistakes English Learners Make"
Here are top 5 mistake English learner make..You must think what related mistake English learner with motivation…actually many of my students ask me why they still don’t understand English language even they push their self to study this subject.. based on my experienced and research while teaching at SMK Tansau,Putatan many of them are influence by they family background. They embrace using English language as a second language, for me if we believe we can do it and try harder to achieve it..we will successful..amen. I also not from this family background who use English language as a first language and don’t believe that I take this English language as my major while in university…when they lack in understanding English language they also down they motivation level..so here I will share most common mistakes that English learners make? Which mistakes do most English learners need to correct, in order to learn English much faster?
Here are the top 5 English Learning Mistakes:
1. Focusing On Grammar
This is the biggest, most common, and worst mistake. Research shows that grammar study, in fact, actually hurts English speaking ability. Why? Because English grammar is simply too complex to memorize and use logically.... and real conversation is much too fast.
You don't have enough time to think, remember hundreds or thousands of grammar rules, choose the correct one, then use it.
Your logical left-brain cannot do it. You must learn grammar intuitively and unconsciously, like a child. You do this by hearing a lot of correct English grammar- and your brain gradually and automatically learns to use English grammar correctly.
2. Forcing Speech
Both English students and teachers try to force speech before the learner is ready. The result is that most students speak English very slowly- with no confidence and no fluency. Forcing speech is a huge mistake. Don't force speech. Focus on listening and be patient. Speak only when you are ready to speak- when it happens easily and naturally. Until then, never force it.
3. Learning Only Formal Textbook English
Unfortunately, most English students learn only the formal English found in textbooks and schools. The problem is- native speakers don't use that kind of English in most situations.
When speaking to friends, family, or co-workers, native speakers use casual English that is full of idioms, phrasal verbs, and slang. To communicate with native speakers, you must not rely only on textbooks.. you must learn casual English.
4. Trying To Be Perfect
Students and teachers often focus on mistakes. They worry about mistakes. They correct mistakes. They feel nervous about mistakes. They try to speak perfectly. No one, however, is perfect. Native speakers make mistakes all the time. You will too. Instead of focusing on the negative- focus on communication.
Your goal is not to speak "perfectly", your goal is to communicate ideas, information, and feelings in a clear and understandable way. Focus on communication,focus on the positive. You will automatically improve your mistakes in time
5. Relying On English Schools
Most English learners rely totally on schools. They think the teacher and the school are responsible for their success. This is never true. You, the English learner, are always responsible. A good teacher can help, but ultimately you must be responsible for your own learning.
You must find lessons and material that are effective. You must listen and read every day. You must manage your emotions and remain motivated and energetic. You must be positive and optimistic. No teacher can make you learn. Only you can do it!
While these mistakes are very common, the good news is that you can correct them. When you stop making these mistakes, you change the way you learn English. You learn faster. Your speaking improves. You enjoy learning English.
Good luck... you can do it!
Here are the top 5 English Learning Mistakes:
1. Focusing On Grammar
This is the biggest, most common, and worst mistake. Research shows that grammar study, in fact, actually hurts English speaking ability. Why? Because English grammar is simply too complex to memorize and use logically.... and real conversation is much too fast.
You don't have enough time to think, remember hundreds or thousands of grammar rules, choose the correct one, then use it.
Your logical left-brain cannot do it. You must learn grammar intuitively and unconsciously, like a child. You do this by hearing a lot of correct English grammar- and your brain gradually and automatically learns to use English grammar correctly.
2. Forcing Speech
Both English students and teachers try to force speech before the learner is ready. The result is that most students speak English very slowly- with no confidence and no fluency. Forcing speech is a huge mistake. Don't force speech. Focus on listening and be patient. Speak only when you are ready to speak- when it happens easily and naturally. Until then, never force it.
3. Learning Only Formal Textbook English
Unfortunately, most English students learn only the formal English found in textbooks and schools. The problem is- native speakers don't use that kind of English in most situations.
When speaking to friends, family, or co-workers, native speakers use casual English that is full of idioms, phrasal verbs, and slang. To communicate with native speakers, you must not rely only on textbooks.. you must learn casual English.
4. Trying To Be Perfect
Students and teachers often focus on mistakes. They worry about mistakes. They correct mistakes. They feel nervous about mistakes. They try to speak perfectly. No one, however, is perfect. Native speakers make mistakes all the time. You will too. Instead of focusing on the negative- focus on communication.
Your goal is not to speak "perfectly", your goal is to communicate ideas, information, and feelings in a clear and understandable way. Focus on communication,focus on the positive. You will automatically improve your mistakes in time
5. Relying On English Schools
Most English learners rely totally on schools. They think the teacher and the school are responsible for their success. This is never true. You, the English learner, are always responsible. A good teacher can help, but ultimately you must be responsible for your own learning.
You must find lessons and material that are effective. You must listen and read every day. You must manage your emotions and remain motivated and energetic. You must be positive and optimistic. No teacher can make you learn. Only you can do it!
While these mistakes are very common, the good news is that you can correct them. When you stop making these mistakes, you change the way you learn English. You learn faster. Your speaking improves. You enjoy learning English.
Good luck... you can do it!
Two Keys to a Happy Marriage
Happy Marriage,Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey.
It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work.
To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage:
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"
Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matthew 22:35-40)
I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble.
Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time?
As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, child rearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way!
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
"Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you to forgive the past self-centeredness, come into our lives and relationship and direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put you and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to you. Amen."
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Depression
Definition of depression
Depression is one of the most common health conditions in the world. Depression isn't a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply "snap out of." Depression, formally called major depression, major depressive disorder or clinical depression, is a medical illness that involves the mind and body. It affects how you think and behave and can cause a variety of emotional and physical problems. You may not be able to go about your usual daily activities, and depression may make you feel as if life just isn't worth living anymore. Most health professionals today consider depression a chronic illness that requires long-term treatment, much like diabetes or high blood pressure. Although some people experience only one episode of depression, most have repeated episodes of depression symptoms throughout their life. Effective diagnosis and treatment can help reduce even severe depression symptoms. And with effective treatment, most people with depression feel better, often within weeks, and can return to the daily activities they previously enjoyed.
Symptoms of depression include:
Loss of interest in normal daily activities, feeling sad or down feeling hopeless crying spells for no apparent reason, problems sleeping, trouble focusing or concentrating, difficulty making decisions, unintentional weight gain or loss Irritability restlessness being easily annoyed, feeling fatigued or weak feeling worthless, loss of interest in sex, thoughts of suicide or suicidal behavior, unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
Depression symptoms can vary greatly because different people experience depression in different ways. A 25-year-old man with depression may not have the same symptoms as a 70-year-old man, for instance. For some people, depression symptoms are so severe that it's obvious something isn't right. Others may feel generally miserable or unhappy without really knowing why.
Causes
It's not known specifically what causes depression. As with many mental illnesses, it's thought that a variety of biochemical, genetic and environmental factors may cause depression:
Biochemical. Some evidence from high-tech imaging studies indicates that people with depression have physical changes in their brains. The significance of these changes is still uncertain but may eventually help pinpoint causes. The naturally occurring brain chemicals called neurotransmitters, which are linked to mood, also may play a role in depression. Hormonal imbalances also could be a culprit. Genes. Some studies show that depression is more common in people whose biological family members also have the condition. Researchers are trying to find genes that may be involved in causing depression. Environment. Environment is also thought to play a causal role in some way. Environmental causes are situations in your life that are difficult to cope with, such as the loss of a loved one, financial problems and high stress.
Risk factors
Although precise statistics aren't known, depression is considered relatively common. In any given year, about 12 million adults in the United States have depression. Depression cuts across all racial, ethnic and economic divides — no one is immune from the risk of getting depression. Depression typically begins in the late 20s, but it can arise at any age, affecting everyone from young children to older adults. Twice as many women are diagnosed with depression as men, but this may be due in part because women are more likely to seek treatment for depression. Although the precise cause of depression isn't known, researchers have identified certain factors that seem to increase the risk of developing or triggering depression, including:
Having other biological relatives with depression, Having family members who have taken their own life Stressful life events, such as the death of a loved one, Having a depressed mood as a youngster Illness, such as cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer's or HIV/AIDS Long-term use of certain medications, such as some drugs used to control high blood pressure, sleeping pills or, occasionally, birth control pills. Certain personality traits, such as having low self-esteem and being overly dependent, self-critical or pessimistic Alcohol, nicotine and drug abuse Having recently given birth, Being in a lower socioeconomic group
When to seek medical advice
It's perfectly normal to occasionally feel sad or upset, or to be unhappy with situations in your life. But with depression, these feelings linger for weeks, months or even years. And these feelings also are much more intense than "just the blues" and can interfere with relationships, work and daily activities, and even your ability to eat and bathe. Feelings of depression can also lead to suicide. If you have any symptoms of depression, seek medical help as soon as possible. Depression usually doesn't get better on its own, and it may even get worse if left untreated. If you have a primary care doctor, talk to him or her about your depression symptoms. Or seek help from a mental health provider. If you're reluctant to seek treatment, try to work up the courage to confide in someone about your feelings, whether it's a friend or loved one, a health care professional, a faith leader or someone else you trust. They can help you take the first steps to successful treatment of depression. When you have suicidal thoughts Suicidal thoughts and behavior are common among people with depression. If you're considering suicide right now and have the means available, talk to someone now. The best choice is to call 911 or your local emergency services number. If you simply don't want to do that, for whatever reason, you have other choices for reaching out to someone:
Contact a family member or friend contact a doctor, mental health provider or other health care professional, contact a minister, spiritual leader or someone in your faith community, go to your local hospital emergency room, call a crisis center or hot line
Helping a loved one with depression symptoms
If you have a loved one who you think may have symptoms of depression, have an open and honest discussion about your concerns. You may not be able to force someone to seek professional care, but you can offer encouragement and support. You can also help your loved one find a qualified doctor or mental health provider and make an appointment. You may even be able to go to an appointment with him or her. If you have a loved one who has harmed himself or herself, or is seriously considering doing so, take him or her to the hospital or call for emergency help.
Tests and diagnosis
Some doctors and health care providers may ask you questions about your mood and thoughts during routine medical visits. They may even ask you to fill out a brief questionnaire to help screen, or check, for depression symptoms. When doctors suspect someone has depression, they typically run a battery of medical and psychological tests and exams. These can help rule out other problems that could be causing your symptoms, pinpoint a diagnosis and also check for any related complications. These exams and tests generally include:
Physical exam. This may include measuring height and weight; checking vital signs, such as heart rate, blood pressure and temperature; listening to the heart and lungs; and examining the abdomen. Laboratory tests. These may include a complete blood count (CBC), screening for alcohol and drugs, and a check of your thyroid function. Psychological evaluation. A doctor or mental health provider will talk to you about your thoughts, feelings and behavior patterns. He or she will ask about your symptoms, including when they started, how severe they are, how they affect your daily life and whether you've had similar episodes in the past. You'll also discuss any thoughts you may have of suicide or self-harm.
Diagnostic criteria for depression There are several other conditions whose symptoms may include depression. It's important to get an accurate diagnosis so you can get the appropriate treatment. Your doctor or mental health provider's evaluation will help determine if you have major depression or one of these other conditions that can sometimes resemble major depression:
Adjustment disorder. An adjustment disorder is a severe emotional reaction to a difficult event in your life. It's a type of stress-related mental illness that may affect your feelings, thoughts and behavior. Bipolar disorder. This type of depression is characterized by mood swings that range from highs to lows. It's sometimes difficult to distinguish between bipolar disorder and depression, but it's very important to get the right diagnosis so that you can get the proper treatment and medications. Cyclothymia. Cyclothymia, or cyclothymic disorder, is a milder form of bipolar disorder. Dysthymia. Dysthymia (dis-THI-me-uh) is a less severe but more chronic form of depression. While it's usually not disabling, dysthymia can prevent you from functioning normally in your daily routine and from living life to its fullest. Postpartum depression. This is depression that occurs in a new mother usually within a month of having a baby. Psychotic depression. This is severe depression accompanied by psychosis, such as delusions or hallucinations. Schizoaffective disorder. Schizoaffective disorder is a condition in which a person meets the criteria for both schizophrenia and a mood disorder. Seasonal affective disorder. This type of depression is related to changes in seasons and a lack of exposure to sunlight.
Major depression is distinguished from these other conditions by its symptoms and their severity. To be diagnosed with major depression, you must meet the symptom criteria spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). This manual is published by the American Psychiatric Association and is used by mental health providers to diagnose mental conditions and by insurance companies to reimburse for treatment.
Diagnostic criteria for depression include:
Symptoms that occur nearly every day for two or more weeks A depressed mood Loss of interest or pleasure in most activities, Significant unintentional weight loss or weight gain, Sleeping difficulties, whether sleeping too much, too little or frequent waking episodes while trying to sleep Feelings of restlessness and agitation, Feelings of sluggishness, Fatigue or lack of energy, Feelings of worthlessness or guilt Problems thinking, concentrating or making decisions Thoughts of death or suicide Your symptoms cause you distress or impair your ability to function in your daily life
Make sure you understand what type of depression you have so that you can learn more about your specific situation and its treatments.
Complications
Depression is a serious illness that can take a terrible toll on individuals and families. Untreated, depression can lead to a downward spiral of disability, dependency and suicide. Depression can result in severe emotional, behavioral, health and even legal and financial problems that affect every area of your life. Complications that depression may cause or be associated with include:
Suicide Alcohol abuse Substance abuse Anxiety Heart disease and other medical conditions Work or school problems Family conflicts Relationship difficulties Social isolation
Treatments and drugs
Numerous treatments for depression are available. Standard depression treatment options include:
Medications Psychotherapy Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)
Emerging and less-studied treatments for depression include:
Brain stimulation Complementary and alternative treatments
In some cases, your primary care doctor can treat your depression. In other cases, you may benefit from treatment with a qualified mental health provider, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker. Try to be an active participant in your depression treatment. Working together, you and your doctor or therapist can decide which treatment options may be best for your situation, depending on your symptoms and their severity, your personal preferences, insurance coverage, affordability, treatment side effects and other factors. In some cases, though, depression is so severe that a doctor, loved one or guardian may need to guide your care until you're well enough to participate in decision making. Here's a closer look at your depression treatment options. Medications Dozens of medications are available to treat depression. Most people find the best relief of depression symptoms by combining medications and psychotherapy. Some medications for depression are antidepressants that have been specifically approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) to treat depression. Doctors also can use their medical judgment to prescribe other medications that haven't been FDA approved to treat depression but that may be effective anyway — a common and perfectly legal practice called off-label use. There are several different types of antidepressants. Antidepressants are generally categorized by how they affect the naturally occurring biochemicals in your brain to change your mood. To determine which antidepressant may be best for you, doctors typically follow general practice guidelines. They may also ask you to take a blood test called the cytochrome P450 test, which can help identify genetic factors that influence your response to certain antidepressants (as well as some other medications). Other factors that are considered when choosing an antidepressant are your symptoms, your family history of depression, and other conditions you may have. Don't give up until you find an antidepressant or medication that's suitable for you — you have a good chance of finding one that works and that doesn't have intolerable side effects, even if it takes a few tries. Most antidepressants are equally effective. But some pose a higher risk of serious side effects. Here's how antidepressants and other medications are generally considered when you're starting treatment for depression:
Typical first choices. Many doctors start treatment with antidepressants by prescribing an antidepressant known as an SSRI — a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. This is because the side effects of the medications in the SSRI class of antidepressants are generally more tolerable than are those of other types of antidepressants, and they also generally work well. SSRIs include fluoxetine (Prozac, Sarafem), paroxetine (Paxil), sertraline (Zoloft), citalopram (Celexa) and escitalopram (Lexapro).
Other common first choices for antidepressants include serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), norepinephrine and dopamine reuptake inhibitors (NDRIs), combined reuptake inhibitors and receptor blockers, and tetracyclic antidepressants.
Typical second choices. The class of antidepressants called tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs) has been around longer than has the SSRI class, and TCAs are still effective. But because TCAs tend to have more numerous and more severe side effects, they're often not prescribed until you've tried SSRIs first without an improvement in your depression. Typical last choices. The class of antidepressants called monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) is often prescribed as a last resort, when other medications haven't worked. That's because MAOIs, while generally effective, can have serious harmful side effects. They also require strict dietary restrictions because of rare but potentially fatal interactions with certain foods. Newer versions of MAOIs that you stick on your skin as a skin patch rather than swallowing may have fewer side effects. Other medication strategies. Your doctor may also suggest other medications to treat your depression. These may include stimulants, moodstabilizing medications, anti-anxiety medications or antipsychotic medications. In some cases, your doctor may recommend combining two or more antidepressants or other medications for better effect, which is sometimes called augmentation.
Side effects of antidepressants All antidepressants can cause unwanted side effects. Not everyone experiences the same number or intensity of side effects, though. You may find that your side effects are so mild that you don't need to stop taking the antidepressant. Coping strategies also can help you manage side effects. In addition, side effects often go away or lessen within several weeks of starting an antidepressant. If you experience unpleasant or intolerable side effects, don't just stop taking an antidepressant without consulting your doctor first. Some antidepressants can cause withdrawal-like symptoms unless you slowly taper off your dose. Precautions when taking antidepressants Although studies have shown that antidepressants are generally safe, some precautions are in order when taking them. The FDA now requires that all antidepressant medications carry black box warnings. These are the strictest warnings that the FDA can issue for prescription medications. The antidepressant warnings note that in some cases, children, adolescents and young adults ages 18 to 24 may have an increase in suicidal thoughts or behavior when taking antidepressants, especially in the first few weeks after starting an antidepressant or when the dose is changed. Because of this risk, people in these age groups must be closely monitored by loved ones, caregivers and health care providers while taking antidepressants. Some antidepressants have the potential of causing serious or even life-threatening health problems, such as liver failure or a dangerous drop in white cell count. While such cases are rare, it's important to get blood work or other tests on schedule and stick to your treatment regimen. Make sure you understand the risks of the medications you're taking and that you're being properly monitored. In addition, if you're pregnant or breast-feeding, some antidepressants may pose an increased health risk to your unborn child or nursing child. Talk to your doctor about any concerns you have. Again, make sure you understand the risks of the various antidepressants. Working together, you and your doctor can explore options to get your depression symptoms under control. Waiting for antidepressants to work It can take as long as eight to 12 weeks to gain the full benefits of an antidepressant, although you may notice some improvements in your mood before that. Certain genetic factors may influence whether or not an antidepressant works for you and how long it takes for symptoms to improve. (DHF review) If you haven't had improvements in your mood and thoughts, your doctor may suggest either increasing your dose, combining medications or switching to a new medication. Psychotherapy Psychotherapy is another key depression treatment. It's often used along with medication treatment. Psychotherapy is a general term for a way of treating depression by talking about your condition and related issues with a mental health provider. Psychotherapy is also known as therapy, talk therapy, counseling or psychosocial therapy. Through these talk sessions, you learn about the causes of depression so that you can better understand it. You also learn how to identify and make changes in unhealthy behavior or thoughts, explore relationships and experiences, find better ways to cope and solve problems, and set realistic goals for your life. Psychotherapy can help you regain a sense of happiness and control in your life and help alleviate depression symptoms, such as hopelessness and anger. It also may help you adjust to a crisis or other current difficulty. There are several types of psychotherapy that are effective for depression. Cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most commonly used talk therapies for depression. This type of therapy helps you identify pessimistic, negative beliefs and behaviors and replace them with healthy, positive ones. It's based on the idea that your own thoughts — not other people or situations — determine how you behave. Even if an unwanted situation doesn't change, you can change the way you think and behave in a positive way. Interpersonal therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy are other types of therapy commonly used to treat depression. Electroconvulsive therapy In electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), electrical currents are passed through the brain to trigger a seizure. Although many people are leery of ECT and its side effects, it typically offers fast, effective relief of depression symptoms. Experts aren't sure how this therapy relieves the signs and symptoms of depression. The procedure may affect levels of neurotransmitters in your brain. The most common side effect is confusion, which can last from a few minutes to several hours. Some people also experience partial memory loss, but memory often returns.
ECT is usually used for people who don't get better with medications and for those at high risk of suicide. It may be the only treatment available for older adults with severe depression who can't take medications because of heart disease. Hospitalization and residential treatment programs It's not often that depression becomes so severe that you require psychiatric hospitalization. And even when depression is severe, it still may not be easy to decide if hospitalization is appropriate. If you can be treated just as effectively or better outside of the hospital, your doctor probably won't recommend hospitalization. Psychiatric hospitalization is generally recommended only when you aren't able to care for yourself properly or when you're in immediate danger of harming yourself or someone else. Psychiatric hospitalization options include 24-hour inpatient care, partial or day hospitalization, or residential treatment, which offers a supportive place to live. Nontraditional depression treatment options If standard depression treatment hasn't been effective, you may want to try nontraditional depression treatments.
These options, sometimes called neurotherapeutic treatments, involve direct stimulation of your brain. They include:
Vagus nerve stimulation (VNS). VNS uses electrical impulses with a surgically implanted pulse generator to affect mood centers of the brain. The FDA approved this treatment in July 2005 for certain cases of severe or chronic, treatment-resistant depression. Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS). TMS is an experimental procedure that uses magnetic fields to alter brain activity. A large electromagnetic coil is held against your scalp near your forehead to produce an electrical current in your brain. Deep brain stimulation. This is a highly experimental treatment for depression in which the brain is stimulated with surgically implanted electrodes.
Prevention
There's no sure way to prevent depression. However, taking steps to control stress, to increase your resilience and to boost low self-esteem may help. Friendship and social support, especially in times of crisis, can help you weather rough spells. In addition, treatment at the earliest sign of a problem can help prevent depression from worsening. Long-term maintenance treatment also may help prevent a relapse of depression symptoms.
Lifestyle and home remedies
Depression generally isn't an illness that you can treat on your own. But you can do some things for yourself that will build on your treatment plan. In addition to professional treatment, follow these self-care steps for depression:
Stick to your treatment plan. Don't skip therapy sessions, even if you don't feel like going. Take your medications as directed. Even if you're feeling well, resist any temptation to skip your medications. If you stop, depression symptoms may come back, and you could also experience withdrawal-like symptoms. Learn about depression. Education about your condition can empower you and motivate you to stick to your treatment plan. Pay attention to warning signs. Work with your doctor or therapist to learn what might trigger your depression symptoms. Make a plan so that you know what to do if symptoms return. Contact your doctor or therapist if you notice any changes in symptoms or how you feel. Consider involving family members or friends in watching for warning signs. Get active. Physical activity and exercise have been shown to reduce depression symptoms. Consider walking, jogging, swimming, gardening or taking up another form of exercise you enjoy. Avoid drugs and alcohol. Alcohol and illicit drugs can worsen depression symptoms.
Coping and support
Coping with depression can be challenging. Depression makes it hard to engage in the behavior and activities that may help you feel better. Talk to your doctor or therapist about improving your coping skills, and consider these tips to cope with depression:
Simplify your life. Cut back on obligations when possible, and set reasonable schedules for goals. Consider writing in a journal to express pain, anger, fear or other emotions. Read reputable self-help books and consider talking about them to your doctor or therapist. Don't become isolated. Try to participate in normal activities and get together with family or friends regularly. Take care of yourself by eating a healthy diet and getting sufficient sleep. Join a support group for people with depression so that you can connect to others facing similar challenges. Stay focused on your goals. Recovery from depression is an ongoing process. Stay motivated by keeping your recovery goals in mind. Remind yourself that you're responsible for managing your illness and working toward your goals. Learn relaxation and stress management. Try such stress reduction techniques as meditation, yoga or tai chi. Structure your time. Plan your day and activities. Try to stay organized. You may find it helpful to make a list of daily tasks. Don't make important decisions when you're in the depths of depression, since you may not be thinking clearly.
Alternative medicine
You may be interested in trying to relieve depression symptoms with complementary or alternative medicine strategies. These include nutritional and dietary supplements and mind-body techniques.
Keep in mind that nutritional and dietary products aren't regulated. The Food and Drug Administration doesn't test them for safety, purity or effectiveness. You can't always be sure of what you're getting and if it's safe. Also, be aware that herbal and dietary supplements can interfere with the way certain prescription medications work or cause dangerous interactions that can harm your health. Talk to your doctors and other health care providers before taking any herbal or dietary supplements. While some researchers are studying the effectiveness of complementary and alternative medicine, the jury's still out. Make certain you understand possible risks as well as benefits before pursuing them. Complementary and alternative treatments generally aren't a good substitute for traditional medical care. Nutritional and dietary supplements Here's a look at some nutritional supplements commonly used for depression:
St. John's wort. Known scientifically as Hypericum perforatum, this is an herb that's been used for centuries to treat a variety of ills, including depression. It's not approved by the Food and Drug Administration to treat depression in the United States. Rather, it's classified as a dietary supplement. However, it's a popular depression treatment in Europe. Some studies show it may be helpful if you have mild or moderate depression. SAM-e. Pronounced "sammy," this is a synthetic form of a chemical that occurs naturally in the body. The name is short for S-adenosyl-methionine. It's not approved by the FDA to treat depression in the United States. Rather, it's classified as a dietary supplement. However, it's used in Europe as a prescription drug to treat depression. Omega-3 fatty acids. These are polyunsaturated fats found mostly in seafood. Good sources of omega-3s include fatty, cold-water fish, such as salmon, mackerel and herring. Flaxseed, flax oil and walnuts also contain omega-3 fatty acids, and small amounts are found in soybean and canola oils.
Mind-body connections The connection between mind and body has been studied for centuries. And with depression, some people experience physical symptoms even more than mood-related symptoms. For instance, they may experience frequent fatigue, headache, backache, or vague aches and pains. Mind-body techniques are thought to strengthen the communication between your mind and your body. Complementary and alternative medicine practitioners believe these two systems must be in harmony for you to stay healthy or to heal. Mind-body techniques used to improve depression symptoms include:
Acupuncture Yoga Meditation Guided imagery Massage therapy
As with dietary supplements, take care in using these techniques. Although they may pose less of a risk, relying solely on these to treat depression may not be effective enough. If you try mind-body techniques first to treat your depression but your symptoms worsen or don't improve, be sure to consult your health care providers.
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